being a good person

does anyone else struggle not only being hard on themselves when they mess up or have bad thoughts but also being extremely critical and unforgiving of those closest to them? Sometimes I truly feel so disappointed at the people closest to me, and it feels justifiable but also exhausting and I can’t tell if my ocd is amplifying it/if it’s forgivable, or how angry/disappointed/for how long I’m supposed to feel. I struggle being mad at myself for not being a good enough person, but I think I struggle even more at the people around me not caring more about others, etc.

Username: MK30MK30

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m currently experiencing something like this and I’m feeling a lot of the same things. Try to grant yourself grace and compassion. Also try to understand that we are not in control of others and we cannot control their reactions to things. It could also be that what you’re thinking is something that needs to be addressed might not be perceived that way on their end. It’s easy in these moments to want to stay angry and maybe even hurt them back in a way, but we also know that a “tit for tat” mentality isn’t going to solve anything. I’m trying to understand their points of view, the feelings I’m experiencing, and also trying to work through it all and not react in anger. I’m not sure if it’s OCD either that is making it kick up more, but it might be. We’re already on edge from feeling things so deeply and being engaged with our thoughts. It might be possible that it’s not OCD, but that because the OCD is there, we’re maybe making another situation seem worse than it is. Try to be gentle and kind with yourself and navigate your feelings the best you can. There is no timeline for how long you should feel upset for either. That’s something that over time will get better. I wish you all the best ❤️

Username: CEH1984CEH1984

Date posted: 1y ago

Can certainly understand this. I have found that people with anxiety/ocd, such as ourselves, are very strong and imaginative people! When someone messes up we think, “how dare you! Do you not know what we have to go through to survive and succeed?” It’s like the kid in class who comes in late, aces the final exam, and gets to leave early—meanwhile, we’ve been up all night studying, exhausted, and still on the first page. A few thoughts: 1) everyone has different strengths than we do 2) we don’t know their story, neither do they know ours 3) think airplane oxygen mask rule: help yourself first then others. If you can’t forgive/show grace to yourself, how can you for someone else?

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

This is really difficult. OCD loves to gather evidence to prove an emotion to be true. This can be targeted at ourselves or other people. It feels real and justified which is very confusing. When in doubt, it is best to sit with our frustration until it lessens, emotions can cloud our judgement:)

Username: Jeffrey Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you for sharing. Sorry you are struggling. From my own life experience, it is far easier to forgive or let go of something when the person is not in our inner circle - really close to us. When those closest to us hurt or disappoint us, it seems harder to let go - and I think that is because we have higher expectations. Here is some advice - we are human and we are doing the best we can - and sometimes it is a struggle. Being critical or judgmental of ourselves ir others tends to keep us stuck in the situation. Letting go, or forgiving does not mean forgetting - we release something so we do not get caught in a vicious cycle. I hope this helps.

Username: Crystal Waters Crystal Wat...

Date posted: 1y ago

Following I just screamed about 2 people who keep bothering - their communities and one girl who’s picnic bothered me 2 years ago. I scream like it’s still fresh in my brain

Username: Crystal Waters Crystal Wat...

Date posted: 1y ago

I personally got to move to Brazil

Username: Crystal Waters Crystal Wat...

Date posted: 1y ago

I get, “ you did this to me” and at this point I’m like, “ “ you did it to yourself, I tried to talk to you. “

Username: Crystal Waters Crystal Wat...

Date posted: 1y ago

I care more about strangers screwing me over but realized recently the stuff I post on social is screwing me over and I got no one to blame but myself. I’ve been told repeatedly to stay off social media because it brings anxiety and it just creates - I create gossip or a “show” I used friends for support and since they can’t tell me they are hurt they tell their communities. I thought I was okay with this. But it really isn’t okay anymore. One friend I tell all my probelms to tell others “ I’m screwed up” I’m not upset with her for some reason and still tell her my probelms.

Username: PlzH3lpMe

Date posted: 2y ago

My ocd makes me feel like I’m a shitty person, like I’m worse than other people and in a dark times like maybe it would be better if I wasn’t existing (I’m not gonna commit suicide don’t worry it’s just a feeling)… idk maybe I’m just looking for support and also coping advice Like I always hear/see the statement “people with ocd are usually very kind and sensitive and would never do any harm knowingly” and then I’m like maybe I’m worse than most people with ocd because I’m not that kind I can be quite irritable and angry and I feel pretty bad about myself

Username: OvercomingOCD

Date posted: 46w ago

Being a Terrible person

I don’t even know what to think or do anymore. I just think my fears are true and I’m in denial about it. I’ve been struggling with school and motivation for awhile now. My parents and family are amazing and have been paying for my education and I keep messing up. I am super lazy and I miss lectures, and I keep always telling myself I’m going to do better and end up barely passing at the end of the semester. I know we aren’t our thoughts but we are our actions and I feel like I choose to live content with being a burden and selfish. The fact that I choose to listen to the thoughts in my head and do compulsions shows that I really don’t care about being better because if I did I would just do it. I always keep thinking at this point that the morals that I had before OCD 3 years ago are gone. I keep questioning if I am not acting on the thoughts because that is my values and who I am or if I am just not acting on them because of luck. I don’t know if I am not acting on them because of how I feel rather than how acting on them would harm others. I am just so weak, and I don’t know if I deserve to live the rest of my life. And I feel so fucking guilty for saying this but there are times where I think about all of this and it doesn’t motivate me to change at all and I just can’t stand myself for that. I just feel like a sociopath who is constantly whining and complaining and screwing up. I used to feel like I did compulsions because I cared about protecting people and now I just think my compulsions are centered around my own selfishness and anxiety. It’s like there are times where I’m not trying to prevent myself from doing something wrong or trying to make sure that I don’t have bad intentions which is so messed up with the thoughts that I have.

Username: Michie545

Date posted: 23w ago

Advice on feeling like a “bad” person

Feeling like a bad person has always been one of my reoccurring struggles with OCD. I’m working through trauma therapy at the moment and recognizing a lot of stuck points, and connecting a lot dots in relation to my OCD. But I feel like even if I make a small mistake or mess up, I can’t give myself grace - and I assume I’m an awful person. Obviously, my realistic self reassures me I would never intentionally hurt someone or have malicious intentions in situations. But sometimes I go round and round, and even think the only reason I think or want to be a good person is because I’m scared of being a bad person? I know that doesn’t make sense but it fucks with me and I’m sure only this group would understand. Anyway, today for example: I got sorta mad at my bf because he was trying to smack my butt and accidentally hit my back. And I said “ouch, stop - you got my back.” - in literally the least menacing way. And we laughed it off and he felt bad. And then I just couldn’t help myself from apologizing to him because I felt like I overreacted somehow. He seemed very confused and was so sweet about it. But I just felt like I overreacted, and I told him that I felt gross - I was trying to prepare food and it caught me off guard. And he was like “no yeah, that makes total sense - you literally don’t have to explain yourself or apologize at all!”. But I just got into this weird mood now, where I’m convincing myself I’m a bad person and a bad partner. And he should be with someone who is truly the sweetest person ever and beautiful to add on to the obsession. Sometimes I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not a bad person but sometimes the OCD itself is very annoying. I feel like this wave has passed, and I’ve worked a lot on grounding myself and bringing myself to reality. Which is great! But I would really love to know if anyone else struggles with this kind of thing and what helps them in these times?

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being a good person

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