urgency

i often justify my rumination in the form of self awareness (specifically with real event and rocd). i must understand why i did something to learn how to avoid repeating that behaviour in the future. since this is something that is ‘celebrated’ in our society, i find it difficult to stop. i am ruminating, not exploring, but it still feels necessary. if i didn’t ruminate and didn’t come to understand why i did the thing that i did, i would probably do it again. and i don’t want to do it again. i want to change. so how can i turn rumination about what led me to that behaviour into something positive? where i am seeking change but not fearfully? any insight is valuable

Hopeful soul

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I would say write it down but don’t keep ruminating in your mind. The intention to improve yourself is valid but you just need to limit the time thinking about it. Make a list of the proms and cons on a piece of paper, look at it and then let it go.

garden

Date posted: 2y

@Hopeful soul do you think dedicating some time each day to explore why i did what i did is a good idea? or is it a compulsion?

Hopeful soul

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@garden Definitely compulsion and obsessive

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Hopeful soul What if it was something that could be seriously detrimental to us? The thing that we may have done I mean. Still a compulsion?

Hopeful soul

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 The “what it” is definitely a compulsion

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Hopeful soul Well, I have nothing but regret and pain whenever I do think about this and I ended up crying about it when I thought about it too much today. I know that I hate that it happened and it hasn't happened ever since. Now I'm just at the point where I want to let it go for good and just think positively. That's all I want now. All of what I'm doing is a compulsion and I just don't want to deal with it anymore

Hopeful soul

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 I’m sorry you feel this way. Please talk to your therapist and find ways to let this go. Whenever the thought comes to you just don’t even think about it, don’t force it. Keep in mind that intrusive thoughts are always going to be there and the more we resist them the more power we give them. Do absolutely nothing when that thought comes and just let it float away.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Hopeful soul I don't have a therapist right now, but thanks. That's all I can really do about it. Intrusive thoughts shouldn't stick this much though. Maybe I can just ask other people how they would let stuff go. There really isn't anything else I can do about this. In the present time, I'm months ahead from this event, nothing like it has happened a second time and I don't plan on that ever repeating again. I didn't want it happening the first time no matter how much doubt the thoughts are trying to bring me, and nothing came of it afterwards. I guess it will just come up and go until "it grows tired" of showing up

Hopeful soul

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 I found a great therapist on YouTube and she explain how to manage this thoughts. She also has a book that I’m planing to get. Her name is Katie d’Ath go to YouTube and look her up and the episode “OCD treatment: How to stop the thoughts part 1”

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@Hopeful soul I know who she is. I should watch her again just to recap all of the things she has said

Dusty53

Date posted: 20w

Advice for handling wisdom gained from ruminating?

So, my brain brought up a question that really affected my worldview. I solved the obsession, and gained some good wisdom on that could be useful towards unconditional loving self acceptance. Maybe I was being OCD about recovery, and tried to find logical reasons for why progress is important no matter the outcome when I should've just embraced uncertainty. So now I have an answer to the Obsession. But this obsession took me to a pretty dark place. And I know OCD is just gonna throw and equally Bad one at me if I use this information to my benefit because it will essentially be reinforcing the OCD cycle. "Oh, he got the solution he needed to now I need to throw a new obsession at his way." So what do I do with the wisdom I gained from ruminating here? It's useful and practical information, so I don't want to throw it out. But I can't reinforce the ocd cycle.

ocdonedidily1

Date posted: 20w

Perfectionism OCD and rumination

There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.

kitchensink234

Date posted: 16w

Advice please!

I have really started to take control of my compulsions and im starting to string together better days! Still not great days or even good, but they are better!!! I have controlled my outward compulsions (googling, research, reassurance, checking) the past couple of days and felt the positive impact of that. But unfortunately, I am realizing that the rumination is still constant. My sexuality and relationship are the only two things constantly on my brain, and if they aren’t I freak out and wonder why im not thinking about them! Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the rumination. Sometimes I don’t even notice im doing it, but it’s taking up 90% of my day. Once I start to tackle this I think I may make some real big progress! Hope everyone is fighting today! ❤️

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