Username: kthompson

Date posted: 1y ago

being perceived is painful

for me, i ruminate like crazy. all day, every day. 24/7 my mind is reflecting, worrying, criticizing. it’s to the point where when i meet someone new and introduce myself, i am immediately in my head thinking of all the reasons they hate me and why. i’ll literally convince myself i’m a loser or a horrible person and no one likes me. it’ll send myself into anxiety or depression spirals sometimes. but it’s literally. all. in. my. head. im recently diagnosed, and i feel like my lifelong anxiety makes so much sense now. but now i’m sooooo aware of intrusive thoughts or when my ocd is spiking. it’s exhausting.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I too feel like this. The best treatment is ERP. You should make it a goal to expose yourself to meeting new people. If they hate you and don’t like you, don’t take it personally. Just know that you can’t control others’ opinion of you. I realized that the hard way after trying to date this girl I had a crush on. I asked her out and I was rejected. Same thing goes for platonic relationships. Also, a note: wanting everyone to think highly of you can be a very toxic trait, associated with narcissistic personality disorder. Not saying you have NPD, but if you let that need for validation/reassurance that you’re likable, it can come across in the wrong way.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Josean … that you’re *like-able* get in your head, sorry for the typo.

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Josean Also, some people only naturally see the worst in others and tend to be very judgmental/cynical, like my brother. It doesn’t matter what you do, he’ll still find a reason to hate you.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I just want to add for clarity's sake here- that many people with OCD experience this people pleasing behavior and thinking- this is also related to anxiety and can be to trauma and so many other factors. Many people have these traits who do not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I just think its important to add this, as I know many people who have OCD will latch onto that and think, oh no, does that mean I have that too? Many people with OCD tend to replay, review, and ruminate on social interactions. This is often done in a compulsive manner, to ensure that they have not inadvertently offended someone or embarrassed themselves. Another key component of OCD is the mistrust one has of themselves and who one is at their core. This is why people with OCD tend to engage in “people pleasing”: they may value other people’s opinions above their own, and trust other people’s opinions more. This is often a doubt that lies at the center of OCD, regardless of the theme.https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/people-pleasing-patterns-in-ocd

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. I agree, it’s just that it’s really discouraging when people already label you as narcissistic just because you have some of the traits. I’ve even gotten the no contact treatment from friends and some family members, just because I value other’s opinion above my own and am just riddled with insecurities. In their mind, there’s nothing I can do to change since folks with NPD don’t change ever.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

@Josean - I am so sorry that is your experience. Can you educatethem on OCD and people pleasing?

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. So they know I have OCD. But that doesn’t make things better. If anything, it makes it worse as according to them, I’ve had therapy, counseling, meds, but I’m still a piece of shit according to them.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

You can't read their minds, so you know that this is your OCD inner person fooling you. Either do the opposite, or accept the fact that the person may either like you or hate you, but you don't know which one, and sit with the uncertainty until the discomfort fizzles away naturally. Then you will realize that it is ok and you can meet new people and you can deal with the uncertainty of them possibly hating you, or even liking you. It takes time to prove it to yourself and to finally win over your OCD inner person. You can also approach this with logic and facts. Do you really factually know that they hate you? If you don't know that they hate you as a fact, then don't believe your OCD inner person. Don't fight it either, just move on to something more worth your time.

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

I bet you are exhausted! I hope you find helpful skills at NOCD! I have delt with a lot of social anxiety myself and it’s painful. We can practice ERP with social situations as well, after a conversation, practice not thinking about what was said, just let it be, don’t pick it up and examine it so to speak. Examining it could be a compulsion! Maybe they do hate you, maybe they don’t and you’re overthinking! Sitting with the uncertainty feels horrible, but it will free you from the OCD cycle!!!

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

It is so exhausting. I am so glad that you have a diagnosis and can begin the recovery process. Please know that it is possible to live a life that can be, at times symptom-free. It can be so manageable. Keep pushing forward, you can do this. You can get to a place where you are living the life you value.💛

Username: seagull2seagull2

Date posted: 1y ago

I have this issue. I worry about if people knew all about me they'd hate me. While this brings up depressing feelings and anxiety, there's no way for me to know their opinion on the matter, and I just have to sit with that uncertainty and interact with people and the world regardless. If you've confided in anyone and they reciprocated support, I'd remember those things as what you do have at least. For me it's my best friend. I know he has always loved me despite me telling him my flaws.

Username: lex_lex_lex

Date posted: 1y ago

ruminating about ruminating

I am dumbfounded by how my whole life has been laced with OCD, and I never thought my anxiety was OCD-esc, since that’s not how it is portrayed in media or discussed in society. I also never truly gave therapy a shot for 25 years since I didn’t think I was mentally ill enough. It took being diagnosed with severe ocd, and depression that made me take a step back. I was not expecting OCD or depression, since i thought i was just a “high strung anxious individual” and since i do, on paper, enjoy life - how the hell could i be severely depressed (when literally i spend an allotted 5 hours a week on crying and being a disgruntled emotional mess) I’ve been through 4 sessions of therapy and each time I cry, even though I never think I’m gonna when i enter the session. I’ve been told i ruminate and all the planning, and thinking and attention to detail and journaling on journaling is not helpful how does one stop ruminating? when rumination is the only thing i do in my brain i am ruminating about ruminating if i don’t keep myself occupied with some form of stimulus i’ll think myself into a panicked state anyone break free from rumination, or have any perspective to share thanks 🫶🏼

Username: Not_kw

Date posted: 37w ago

Constant anxiety

Hey guys! I’ve been struggling with constant anxiety and rumination for a few weeks now really it’s been longer than that but I was still working so I was able to get my mind off of it for a little bit. Now I’m waiting to start my new job Monday and have been home alone just ruminating. This theme is that I’m going crazy and need to check myself in somewhere and my thoughts are confusing and don’t make sense sometimes. Idk how to stop it. I haven’t done erp in a few years due to finances. I just want time be able to calm down again. From the time I open my eyes until I can finally get to sleep I’m having panic attack thoughts without the physical racing heart and stuff. Has anyone else experienced this? If so what did you do to help it? I’m not on medication.

Username: Beetroot!

Date posted: 31w ago

Perfectionist, relational ocd

Hello community, I am struggling with a wash of lightning speed intrusive thoughts that occur when I have to interact and before I interact with people- mostly that I care about. Thoughts like- everyone wants me to be good, I am not good enough, I must perform, I can’t relax around people, I can’t be me because I am bad, I can’t trust myself to be good and liked, I must be more like my sister ect. It causes me to become hyper aware of my mouth and the sound of my words, I feel like I end up holding a wall up over me, I feel like I don’t even know who I am or how I would wanna be because the thoughts overwhelm me. Does anyone else experience this type of thing? And what has helped you? I can’t afford OCD therapy but I am so fed up of feeling so alone and hiding in my body. Thanks for reading

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