Breakups

Does anyone have any tips for a breakup when you also had/have ROCD? Just found out a few days ago that my partner of 8.5 years was having an affair and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. My heart is completely broken. I had spent the last year healing from ROCD and had genuinely got back to a place where I felt more certain again and back in love but now I have no idea where all of that fits in my life now. He also blames me hurting him as one of the reasons he cheated which is so unfair. I know I hurt him because I did confess all my thoughts to him before I knew what ROCD was, but since learning about it and healing from it I tried so many times to share that it wasn't ever actually about him but he never really understood. He never asked me about this side of my mental health, he just maybe wasn't interested and I'm so angry and upset about that.

Username: Amanda DenholmAmanda Denholm

Date posted: 1y ago

Very similar experience, only three years though, I was very open about everything and I told her about my ocd and all, but eventually she could not help it it kind of felt personal to her. I don’t blame her, it’s not easy. But the ways she ended things was not nice and very cowardly and that caused me a lot of pain. I don’t want to judge your ex, I don’t know him and his reasons, but sometimes we have to come to terms with the fact that maybe it wasn’t the right person for us. It’s very hard when you have ocd and rocd, but it’s a helpful reminder.

Username: acw95acw95

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you, I am trying to come to terms with that. I know this isn't true really, but part of me is saying all the work I did on ROCD was pointless because I lost everything anyway. I know that it was still good work and it will serve me in a new relationship some day, but right now it feels hard

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

the fact that you didn’t know what was happening but still tried to communicate to him what was happening in an healthy way and he took it maliciously- speaks a lot about him not you. no one deserves to be cheated on, especially not based off the thoughts that come into their head that they can’t even control. i’m sorry you’re dealing w this when all you tried to do was communicate, i hope you heal🫶🏼

Username: acw95acw95

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you 🥹

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@acw95 just remember healing isn’t linear, there’s always gonna be up and downs but you harvest the power in you to get thru anything❤️

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

My boyfriend also blamed my mental illnesses on why he cheated on me. If you need an ear, I’m here❤️

Username: acw95acw95

Date posted: 1y ago

Wow what is it with these immature, emotionally unavailable men-children who don't know how to do the work and face up to the difficult parts in life

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@acw95 I don’t blame my boyfriend. We are still together and are in couples counseling. We both have mental illnesses that are reactive to the other’s, so it’s more so about learning how to cope with the stress we each cause one another.

Username: acw95acw95

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Well I am glad for you that he is willing to work through it. I wish you all the best 💜

Username: aholcomb17

Date posted: 5y ago

My boyfriend just dumped me because he lost feelings and thinks we’re too hard and it’s because of my anxiety and ROCD:(( I’m a mess rn guys. I love him and I lost the best part of me. Does anyone have any advice for breakups

Relationship OCD

Username: kittea

Date posted: 2y ago

I just went through my first breakup. My ex and I dated for almost 5 years and the breakup was mutual but it still hurts so much. I had ROCD throughout our entire relationship that I’m sure took a toll on us both but what led us to the end was completely separate—he hurt me in a way I couldn’t get past after it happening multiple times before. Even though the breakup was mutual and I know we need this to move forward either with or without one another, I am in so much pain. We both are still in love with the other and it’s making this breakup 10x harder because I am freaking out over whether or not I overreacted and I am throwing away something amazing just because of my ROCD sabotaging everything for us. It wasn’t the only issue but I guess I’m freaking out thinking it could’ve been the root of many of my frustrations. I just feel nauseous and depressed and exhausted (I can’t sleep). I guess I just need some guidance here. I have no idea how to navigate a breakup, let alone one where OCD is involved.

Relationship OCD

Username: Cassandragoth

Date posted: 2y ago

Anyone break up because of ROCD?

And how is that going now?

Relationship OCD

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