Failed all my finals exam because of my OCD

ever since i started college i have been feeling so depressed, i always fail my exams because my OCD wants me to be perfect in every way but I always end up making some sort of clumsy mistake and I end up repeating that mental compulsion again, it’s like its hard to face that uncertainty, i have been always trying and i ended up failing miserably so because of it i couldn’t start any new task like studying or cleaning because it did not feel ‘right’ so now I have failed my finals and I feel extremely bad to my parents because they spent so much of their money on my education and I just acted like it was nothing. I am 18, i don’t want my 20s to get ruined because of some mental health disorder… i have told my parents i have OCD but they think i’m lying and they think i’m just plain stupid so i can’t get therapy right now because its too expensive. Nothing in my life has been good, studies, relationships with family and friends, intellect, low self esteem, boring personality, i just feel like i was destined to suffer so i really feel like killing myself some day since all i do is just make people suffer by existing I also have ADHD that makes it hard for me to focus on one thing, however, i can tackle that and focus on a particular thing for long but i also suffer from stuttering which makes me so mad because i do want to talk with people but stuttering doesn’t let me fully talk properly and i just don’t talk at all and avoid new people i seriously don’t know what to do, my parents are considering to get me out from college, should i continue or should i leave?

Sydnxyr

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Wow i so relate to you on so many levels because I also failed all my exams bc of my OCD & had to withdrawal from all my classes. I’m so sorry for what your going through rn & ik it can be so so tough and put you in a tough spot especially with how you said your parents view you. my parents also view me similarly & think im just lazy & not trying hard in school so i get it :/ but know that you are not stupid… dont listen to your parents they probably don’t know the in’s and outs of what you went through in college nor understand your OCD like you do yourself which is what impacted your academics. You’re hard working, it’s just that when your OCD gets in the way it makes it harder for you to do your everyday normal tasks. I hope they see that one day <33 I also struggle with stuttering a lot & avoid talking to new ppl as well it can be tough sometimes bc its so frusterating when im trying to communicate with anyone & with your question about dropping out of college, i actually just did a withdrawal from college which is basically just dropping all of my classes for a semester & taking a break for a semester & coming back next semester to re-take the same classes. I honestly recommend “withdrawing” from your classes instead of fully dropping out of college bc maybe what you need is a break from school right now? But idk im speaking from an outside perspective but this is just an option for you to think about. I wish you the best of luck with everything your going through!!

Adi7

Date posted: 24w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

Gmoki

Date posted: 23w

How do you manage OCD in school with avoidance?

I had avoided a lot with school specifically, but I did do it in other areas of life as well. School for some reason has been the biggest trigger that sends me into avoidance and it has been for the longest time. Does anybody relate? If so, what did you do to help besides therapy? In high school I used to sit in the bathroom stalls for hours so I could avoid going to classes. I was struggling to keep up because my OCD makes me perfect my school work so much so to the point where I’d never turn it in because I’d never be satisfied with what I’d produce. I’d get so incredibly frustrated with myself and the fact that I could never meet my own standards, never mind the rubrics given. I took ages analyzing all my writing, all my answers, all my google slides and I burnt myself out. So I stopped trying. I stopped turning in work because I’d never be satisfied. I’d cry because I felt I wasn’t good enough. Then I’d be missing assignments, getting them done but not submitting them because I was too ashamed. So, I avoided classes because I’d be in trouble or be called out for not getting anything done. Unfortunately this habit bled into my first year of college last year, and OCD coupled up with depression, made going to the dining hall and attending classes even worse. So I avoided it all together. It’s so hard being a freshman in college, so so hard. I unfortunately failed out of that school but I tried to medically withdraw either semester. No, I wasn’t partying, or drinking or smoking or hanging with the wrong people. I was a college freshman struggling with ocd and depression. I’m trying to not make excuses for myself either because I’m well aware this is my fault and I’m trying to reverse it now at community college. Right now I’m trying to get those Fs turned into Ws from my old school so I can fix my gpa. I want to transfer, I want to be a forensic psychologist, I want to be independent, I want to be ok. It’s gonna take me so long to transfer from community college but that’s on me. I’m willing to put in the work. I’m so embarassed, please help me.

jhhhhh

Date posted: 19w

Should I drop out?

I am a freshman in college diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression. I have been on medication for 2 months but I do not see any improvement yet. College has become an anxiety fuel now and I can’t study because I am too anxious and sometimes I cry when I try to. I can’t perform well in classes and the workload is stressing me out. During the first exam season I was a wreak but I wasn’t yet on meds and that’s when my depression appeared. The thing is I can’t really do the normal routine things and I don’t find happiness in the things that were my hobbies. I don’t know how I’ll be able to tell my parents if I do it because my mom is really on about the fact that I can do it cause I’m strong and now I just feel like I will disappoint her. If anyone that went or is going through this let me know your experience.

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Failed all my finals exam because of my OCD

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