How are you guys navigating this theme while being in a relationship/ dating or starting a relationship? I have had these thoughts even before I started dating my current boyfriend and it almost feels like I started dating him just to prove that I wasn’t gay, but I feel that I have sexual arousal towards women and I am numb to men now. Anyone else??
Girl I’m in the same boat. Long distance as well
@norx Girl I’m exhausteddddddd and I feel like it’s almost popped up in my brain worse because I’m not seeing my bf everyday or often…. What are your experiences?
@Mamba24 I’m trying to navigate that as well. It’s really really really hard. I’ve tried dating people of same sex to see if I was really into it and it just left me confused and uncomfortable lol. Now knowing about SOOCD, I think that was all compulsions. So now with that as my past, I feel guilty about not sharing it with my boyfriend. Anywho - how do I deal with it? Ugh lol I go on this app and it helps calm me down. But now I’m not sure if that’s turning into a compulsion lol. I can’t just sit with the thoughts yet. I try to not judge my thoughts and that works a lot of the time. pretty much, I’m still trying to figure it out.
@norx My brain is telling me that I need to explore and experiment with women sexually but I’m like convinced I would like it lol. I know feel like all of this is just constantly in the back of my mind and I have a lot of guilt like I’m lying to my boyfriend. Before we officially started dating I actually shared to him that I may be attracted to women, but I haven’t really said anything since but it’s been a constant thing I think about. I’m not sure how to share all of this with him.
I want to add that I’m in a long distance relationship
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
I started having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality when I got into a relationship with my ex and I wondered if it would seemingly go away but it hasn’t and I find myself ruminating about it constantly especially before or during my period. Has anyone else felt with this?
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