Please help

For about a year now I’ve had pocd thoughts. Anytime I’m around children I always am on alert and have anxiety when they come anywhere near me. For instance I was at my relatives house and all of my little cousins 2-8 years old started climbing on me and my entire body went numb and I just stayed still and the second I got I ran out the house and went to go be around all the parents. Now because of this I don’t want kids, I don’t want to get married and be put in the position to have kids. Every time I see a picture of a baby or any child I go past it fast like it wasn’t there, I don’t go to the park and run anymore either because I’m afraid I’ll kidnap or do something horrible to a child. Back in high school, I had really bad thoughts about harming people and I pushed people away because I thought I was a danger to them, I lost girlfriends and friendships because of it. I also think I had hocd because after getting broken up with my girls I’d always think I was gay or bi but I never really looked at guys that way. Is this all ocd related? Please help me.