Incident at work

( First I appologize this is so long I feel really bad) I work at a daycare and I am new to my job. so am terrified of being mean or disciplining a kid or if someone snaps at me or is mean to me I can’t snap back or else in my mind I am a terrible person and I will not be able to forgive myself for the longest time. I am constantly asking people if I was accidentally mean without me realizing it. A long time ago I was manipulating and emotionally abused and other abuse happened to me and J struggled well before the abuse as well. The abuse made it worse, now I feel a lot of shame for feeling my emotions. I am a happy person with a lot of anxiety and depression if you met me J am super patient. At my job it was my first time running a room with 6 kids under 24 months. I LOVEDDD it sooo much! However kids started to bite each other and a couple of them were crying and there was one that kicked me I told them they couldn’t bite or kick which was super hard for me going again my thoughts but it was to protect them and even that is so hard on me! I can’t disapline a child without feeling unbelievable shame and guilt. From there they told me since the biting happened I will no longer be able to run my own room and I was very discouraged about myself and it spiraled into I am not a strong enough person and I am a bad person or I am going to turn into anbad person if I displine and I began hyperventilating and almost passed out. I know disaplining doesn’t mean being mean but my mind says I am an awful person if I do or if I don’t do something perfect at my job then it says I am terrible. I am worried I will be fired and this is my first real job. I have been beating myself up over it a lot. However I feel like I can’t change it without unbelievable anxiety coming with it. I love kids but I want to do what’s best it is so hard with anxiety thoughts I am not for sure what to do thank you!! I was wondering if anyone happen to have advice? I spiraled into I got the wrong job and I shouldn’t be working with kids even though I love it and one of my favorite things in the world! Thank you! 😊 Ehat do I do in this situation? Then I got into trouble for not being an adult and had very bad anxiety about that what all do I do? Thank you!!

Everyone is frustrating me at work and I’m about to crash out😭!! Maybe it’s how I grew up and have been gaslit a lot but does anyone ever feel like whatever they do they are in the “wrong?” I don’t know …my coworker made me feel like that. What’s wrong to her might not be wrong to me and vise versa. I just wanna scream and throw hands lol. I don’t know if anyone else feels like this. And they wanna have this conversation in front of customers and then I look like the “bad guy” 🙄. So over it. Workplace is toxic asf and I’m trying to find a new job but it seems impossible these days . I feel like I’m not the best at conversations on the spot. That’s why I keep quiet so ion look dumb, but both coworkers came up to me and approach me. I feel like I try and smile and nobody really smiles back. Or when I say thank you and go to places like ulta, all the girls are bitchy. It makes me think am I not smiling enough? Am I doing something wrong? Etc. Maybe it just the people I’m around . I just feel nothing but anger and I’m trying to calm down but I really just wanna go off

(I work at a bank, this is my first full time job. I am in the teller drive through and this is my second week, I am also the youngest and least experienced employee of this branch.) We were extremely busy, there’s only me and one more employee in the drive thru. There’s 3 cars in each line waiting, and I’m overwhelmed and sweating. Spot 4 sends up the tube, and rings for assistance. I speak into the mic to her spot, “I’ll be right with you!”. She begins to demand something but i turn off the speaker because I told her i’d be with her soon and I don’t have time rn. I jokingly say to myself “Girl i said i’d be right with you”. My coworker (who has previously called customers b**ches behind their back) says “that isn’t how we speak about customers, we just remind them again that we will be with them in a minute”. i say “sorry” and speak to Spot 4, “I’m so sorry ma’am there’s a couple ppl ahead of you, I’ll be right with you”, she starts screaming and cussing me out, saying “IF YOUD LISTEN TO ME YOU ****” etc etc “I NEED TO DEPOSIT THIS NOW” i say “okay ma’am”. i’m bad at confrontation, im sweating and on the verge of tears. i finish my transaction and her tube comes back with a 7” stack of u organized and mutilated bills and 3 different deposit slips. I panic, i’m new, the amount is over my drawer limit. i say “i’m not comfortable doing this lady’s transaction, i don’t feel ready, can i watch you do it?” my coworker says “no you can do it”. it’s already 30 min past my shift ending, i haven’t balanced my drawer, i closed last night and opened this morning, im running on 3 hrs of sleep, and i haven’t eaten in 2 days. Spot 4 is ringing again to demand me to hurry up. i start tearing up and looking around for help, i finally grab someone’s attention, and they help me thru the transaction, but it was obvious they were annoyed. i can’t stop rethinking this and thinking i made it all up and im just an idiot. what did i do wrong???? ive been having a panic attack for 2 hours since my shift ended, im in hysterics, it feels like im doing compulsions extra due to the stress