I’m worried

This guy I’m speaking to has a view and opinion that I can’t agree with, irs one I really really dislike and I made it very apparent. But am I to dislike him because of a view he has? He as a person he’s a lovely guy, but it’s just this one view that I’ve even had an argument about it with him, and it’s the only thing keeping me from being able to see myself with him because of it. I don’t want to hate someone for their options, even though it’s an incredibly old fashioned and backwards view, it doesn’t show anything on me dose it? Like it’s not my opinion, its not what I think it’s him. I try and forget about it when I’m talking to him but it’s now sitting with me. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad person for liking him, I don’t like his view and it strains my opinion on him a little, but it’s one against loads of other things. Idk I’m just worried

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I think you just have to decide if this is a dealbreaker or not for you.

Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 2y ago

@LittleBird I agree and that’s the tough thing with ROCD. It can sometimes get attached to things that could be legitimately dealbreakers/incompatibilities, etc. but even if ocd is attached to it doesn’t always mean that it still can’t be a dealbreaker for you. I’ve been dealing with this currently as I’ve been obsessed with ‘what if I want to date other people’. I’ve been working on accepting the fear and working through the ocd, and am realizing that what I feared (wanting to date around) is actually what I want. But I wouldn’t have discovered that without dealing with the ocd around it first

Thrasymedes

Date posted: 2y ago

Liking someone who holds one million dollars does not make you a millionaire. Same goes for opinions. Your concern about what others think about you is part of your OCD and should be treated as such. I recommend using the phrase "Everyone on Earth thinks I'm a horrible person" as a trigger phrase for your ERP training. Also, holding a bad opinion doesn't make this other person bad but could effect the practicality of a potential relationship with them.

loola

Date posted: 2y ago

I have this same issue. My partner has lots of opinions I don’t agree with and it’s really tough but I also don’t know where ocd begins and ends. I love him and his opinions have changed in our long term relationship so much harder to just leave, as I know him as a person and he’s a great person otherwise. His views are not mine and they are definitely not what I would want him to hold but his reasoning of the thoughts and opinions are not horrendous or nasty etc - it’s a tough battle daily for me

Mariabae

Date posted: 17w ago

i feel bad

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 16w ago

I’m panicking, any advice is welcomed

**TMI Warning: This post is very personal and might be uncomfortable for some.** I’m feeling panicked and need to get this out. I have intrusive thoughts that make me question my morals, especially about consent. I have a CNC preference (consent to non-consent), but I feel so conflicted because I know how horrifying and heartbreaking real non-consensual acts are. The thought of anyone suffering in that way is so awful, yet I get thoughts that feel like I’m justifying the real thing—the immoral thing. Sometimes, I feel like I have to focus hard just to truly condemn it, and that terrifies me. It’s hard to separate these thoughts from who I am, and I’m scared it means something terrible about me. I feel so much shame for having a CNC preference. I know it’s rooted in consent, but I feel like I’ve never had certainty that I fully condemn the real thing. I’m scared that deep down, I might think it’s all the same.

Anonymous

Date posted: 7w ago

HELP PLS I NEED ADVICE

Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞

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