I confessed to my girlfriend about things I did in the past and I feel like she's disgusted with me and is making her upset. Any tips on how to stop confessing? This is literally hell. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and guilt and feel the need to confess something. Am I not allowed to be happy and move on from my past without feeling the need to let everyone know and them thinking I'm a freak?
Been there. You need to do everything in your power to live with the uncertainty of not confessing. Resist. Never give in. Living with OCD is harder than not confessing.
(And for the sake of your relationship)
Never fully disclose to another human being is a rule of thumb my mother taught me.
I’ve been there. Resist the urge to confess everything. I know it’s hard and seems unattainable. For me, confession ocd was the worst theme I had. I felt so gross and like such a bad person. Every little thought that popped in my head I had to share with him. Every other person I found attractive, every mean thought I had about him, etc. you name it and I said it. It nearly destroyed our relationship beyond repair. It will and does get better. We’ve been together for 13 years now and married for two. Hang in there
@NikkiLed For me if I don’t confess I feel like I’m being dishonest. How do you get past that feeling? I don’t know what to believe. I know confessing is a compulsion and I’ve struggled with it for most of my life. But at the same time I don’t know what to confess and what not to…
@Claire2022 This is exactly the problem I used to have, but I didn't know how to express it in words! Unfortunately the way I learned was damaged relationships. Glad to see others getting a handle on the same thing. 👏
@NikkiLed I totally get that @clair2022 . Used to have the same issue. The feeling of dishonesty is also OCD. You just live with the fact that you may or may not be dishonest, and still don’t give into the compulsion, even it if means you may or may not be a moral honest person!
@Claire2022 That’s exactly how I felt. Every thought in my head I had to tell him. Even the ones that really hurt him emotionally. Honestly it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I started to really fight with the compulsions, the need to tell him everything. Therapy really helped. When I learned that it was part of this, debilitating at times, mental illness, I was able to logically think to myself “is this really a lie or just my ocd?” I can’t tell you how many therapist I went thru. I had several tell me that what i was going thru “didn’t sound like ocd” because they didn’t understand ocd goes way beyond “being neat and organized” ironically I’m one of the messiest people. Therapy really does help and being on this app helps me remember I’m not alone ❤️we really are all in this together
@Anonymous Yes 100%!
Hey there fellow confessor, i too am struggling with this. I have this huuuge need to confess anything wether of our past together or my past before her. As well as current things. Like if i notice other people or if i saw something online also if i had a bad thought about her or her looks and somehow i manage to find something bad in my most insignificant actions which in turn makes me feel like i must confess. I can't say i have been able to get a hold of this compulsion but i just want you to know you're not alone. Remember that not confessing is the right thing to do, no matter what your head says or how guilty you feel. Not confessing is the road to getting better and is the right thing to do. I hope this helps you and i hope your partner is understanding and supports you in your quest to keep things in rather than exposing everything that crosses your mind. Ask her to be an ally and help you resist the urge to confess. For the sake of our lives i hope we both get better my friend and I believe we can.
I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?
I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…
How can I get over the feeling of needing to confess everything? Even private thoughts & situations … nobody’s business but my own. But I feel like I’m doing something wrong and keeping big secrets. Thanks!
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