I feel like I need to confess everything to my wife. This week it’s gotten me in a lot of trouble, there’s more I feel I need to confess but I know it’ll hurt her. How do I just not!
I feel this SO much, except mine is with my mom. I’m a 30 year old female and I still to this day feel like I need to tell her every detail of my life and about every conversation I have…hopefully someone else on this app can share some advice with us!
If you can even delay the compulsion, try to. It’ll feel very intense in the moment but I just try and distract myself as much as possible and always surprise myself when it’s been some time and I either didn’t confess, or even waited way longer than intended. You don’t have to confess everything, this is just a symptom of the condition. Working with my therapist on this really worked.
Hi there! Confession compulsions can be really tough. I hear how much of a struggle this has been, especially when you feel that the confessing could cause more harm than good. To answer your question - It's possible to "just not" confess, but it's likely not possible to do this, at this stage, without feeling at least some discomfort or worry. This is where a steady ERP practice comes in. Exposures help you practice triggering the obsessions that lead you to want to do compulsions, and actively practice not doing compulsions, despite the discomfort. The discomfort is anticipated - you learn to build up a tolerance to it. This way over time, you learn to notice urges to do compulsions, recognize all the familiar signs of distress, and still make the conscious decision to practice response prevention. If you are struggling with this on your own, I hope you know that help is available - feel free to reach out to us here at NOCD to see how we might be able to assist. In the meantime, here are some resources that may help! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/when-compulsions-backfire
This post is so relatable, especially if you’re someone who has a very strong conscience. It’s just hard to sit with anything that your conscience could perceive as “bad” or “unfaithful.” It’s hard to hold that stuff inside. I just wish that your partner would be more compassionate around the fact that you’re being completely honest and transparent with her. And not many humans do this (they lie out of fear of being judged if they *did* tell the truth). If I were in your shoes, I might just try to journal about the confessions and try to act as if that journaling session is a confession in and of itself. Maybe that will alleviate you from feeling as strong of an urge to confess in person to your wife, because you would have already gotten it out on paper, at least.
ERP is your ticket out of this. Just keep practicing ERP, and it will get easier and easier to stop confessing. Here's the upshot. You practice denying the compulsions despite the anxiety that comes. When you deny the compulsion (refuse to confess), the anxiety is going to flow over you like a wave. It may get higher and higher before it eventually subsides. We have to practice "riding out the wave." In other words, you just let that anxiety roll over you, no matter how bad it gets, and you continue to refuse to do the compulsion. Eventually, with practice, the waves get smaller and smaller. So keep practicing refusing the compulsions, and keep riding out the anxiety until it--eventually--subsides. You got this! I also think Nathan Peterson is very helpful for topics like this. You might try his videos. Here's a sample!! https://youtu.be/QO2w-iO4Uj8?si=07-1ol4Rc5y4FVSc
Yessss I needed to see this my boyfriend getting annoyed like I feel like ima lose him if I keep confessing every thought
I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(
I just got off my session today and after having a confession to my husband last night with a compulsion, he obviously is going to have more questions. My therapist says not to confess because I am growing my OCD . However, this is really OCD and is about something that actually happened. My husband said, that it sounds like I have someone in my life who is justifying withholding information or lying to him. Of course when I have my obsession compulsions, he makes sense. Can somebody help explain this to me? How is my husband not right or is he?
I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?
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