- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I do and it sucks. Perfection OCD is cruel because no matter how many times we check and re-check to make sure something is perfect, we know deep down that perfection does not exist. I am always very fearful that something of mine is missing or stolen. A lot of my perfection obsessions have to do with the numbers 3, 7, and 9. In my mind, arranging things in these numbers is perfection to me. I count, tap, and scratch all day long in an attempt to achieve my perfection. With the help of literature, this app, medication, and some therapy, I am working to understand and lessen these compulsions. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
- Date posted
- 6y
Most days, I am in your frame of mind. Honestly, I feel like I will never make it out of this alive. But then there are moments, small glimmers of hope where I know I can control the rituals, that I will make it out of this alive because I am strong. I don’t have much of a support system, so I get these glimmers and I hang on to them as tightly as I can because they are all I’ve got. I believe in you and I believe in me. Each day I try and each day I get stronger. Please feel free to reach out during good times and bad. Stay strong! <3
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your words. I seek help here, i read books, i try to find a solution in my mind to avoid these compulsions that are totally useless, i know it, but the "sick" part of my brain doesn't know, obviously the ocd controls everything.And i know that perfection does not exist and is not even a right thing, imperfection is beautiful, life must be lived without too many fears and controls. But it is so difficult,since i wake up until i go to sleep i always have my mind there. The drugs do not help me (I took a huge amount, maybe too many and all wrong).I have to find a trick to cheat the ocd, maybe sooner or later ... I must have a hope
- Date posted
- 6y
Your words give me hope! I don't pretend to heal completely, I just want to live more serenely. I thought of closing the closets with adhesive tape, in the most difficult moments I even wanted to burn everything (obviously it was just a moment of anger), I also thought to tie my hands to not control (impossible). I also believe in you and I hope with the heart that you can get better. Thanks again?
- Date posted
- 2y
This is what I struggle with, too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?
- Date posted
- 25w
I have a lot of compulsions that seem hoarding-esque but I can’t figure out which subtype of OCD they fall under. The two major drivers of this for me seem to be a fear that I will forget about them or the memories attached to them or that the things and their significance will be lost to time, and that I might need or want them in the future. I compulsively make lists of things (ex. things I like, things I don’t like, who I am, the contents of my ideal fridge - very plain with lots of fruit) just in case. I heart nearly every song I hear on Spotify (except the ones I actively strongly dislike, of which there are not many) just in case I will forget about them later on (and because I feel guilty about not hearting the song and supporting the artist if I have no valid reason not to but that’s a whole other can of worms). I have a couple containers of “good” boxes of all shapes and sizes that I’ve collected that, as it turns out, I never actually look at or use. When I was very little, before my family and I knew I had OCD, I had a “sticker book” in which I would put every sticker I ever got - because I didn’t like the idea of putting them on anything that I might lose access to. I even found my mother’s stamps and obsessively put one of each kind in my sticker book (there were soo many, it took me hours). I have trouble letting go of things, especially if I have any sort of memory attached to it whatsoever. Because, my mind says, what if I forget? My camera roll consists, in large part, of an enormous amount of screenshots of far too many little things that I encounter, and it is extremely rare that I actually look back at them. But the other data I was looking for something I thought I took a screenshot of and I couldn’t find it, so this compulsion is back and much worse. On my computer I can’t open the photos app without it crashing and the number of screenshots I have on there is shown in eight digits. I also have tens of thousands of tabs open in my browser at any given moment (I can’t close them, what if I forget?). I really wish I were exaggerating. I also take an excessive amount of photos of many things throughout my day (I counted once and I took 46 pictures of the same tree when I went on a walk). These are just some little examples of how this obsession manifests in me and my life. Does anyone else experience something similar? I’d love to hear about it.
- Date posted
- 24w
My OCD is continuing to have me constantly check and check and check! I keep doubting and am very confused! How can I get out of this trap!!!!!
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