- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I do and it sucks. Perfection OCD is cruel because no matter how many times we check and re-check to make sure something is perfect, we know deep down that perfection does not exist. I am always very fearful that something of mine is missing or stolen. A lot of my perfection obsessions have to do with the numbers 3, 7, and 9. In my mind, arranging things in these numbers is perfection to me. I count, tap, and scratch all day long in an attempt to achieve my perfection. With the help of literature, this app, medication, and some therapy, I am working to understand and lessen these compulsions. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
- Date posted
- 6y
Most days, I am in your frame of mind. Honestly, I feel like I will never make it out of this alive. But then there are moments, small glimmers of hope where I know I can control the rituals, that I will make it out of this alive because I am strong. I don’t have much of a support system, so I get these glimmers and I hang on to them as tightly as I can because they are all I’ve got. I believe in you and I believe in me. Each day I try and each day I get stronger. Please feel free to reach out during good times and bad. Stay strong! <3
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for your words. I seek help here, i read books, i try to find a solution in my mind to avoid these compulsions that are totally useless, i know it, but the "sick" part of my brain doesn't know, obviously the ocd controls everything.And i know that perfection does not exist and is not even a right thing, imperfection is beautiful, life must be lived without too many fears and controls. But it is so difficult,since i wake up until i go to sleep i always have my mind there. The drugs do not help me (I took a huge amount, maybe too many and all wrong).I have to find a trick to cheat the ocd, maybe sooner or later ... I must have a hope
- Date posted
- 6y
Your words give me hope! I don't pretend to heal completely, I just want to live more serenely. I thought of closing the closets with adhesive tape, in the most difficult moments I even wanted to burn everything (obviously it was just a moment of anger), I also thought to tie my hands to not control (impossible). I also believe in you and I hope with the heart that you can get better. Thanks again?
- Date posted
- 2y
This is what I struggle with, too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi i need help as im checking things over over as in doors cooker switches taps etc
- Date posted
- 22w
i’ve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. i’ve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. i’m also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. it’s been making me feel crazy because to me there’s no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but it’s like symptoms of ocd too that’s making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? i’ve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel “just right”, but i also do that with any environment i’m in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because there’s something wrong that i can’t find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but it’s also more than that it feels like. however, now it’s spreading into other areas of my house where i’ve always been fine in and possibly to just any area i’m in at all. hence why it’s making me feel crazy because there’s no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as i’ve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. i’m doing a little better, but it’s still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. i’m also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like i’m going insane. i’ve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when i’m this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why i’m so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.
- Date posted
- 20w
I wanted to come on here and explain my OCD because I always feel so out of place since my OCD works a little differently than everyone else’s. If someone can relate to this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I’ve always felt so alone with not knowing what this feeling is and why it affects me so much. Okay so ever since I was a toddler, Ive had a fear of change I can’t control. when the weather changes I’d have anxiety attacks, and a cloudy day would make me feel like i’m not myself. I don’t recognize my surroundings and I would cry and close my eyes until I’m back to normal. When it was still bright out at 8pm in the summer, as a kid, we’d go to bed at 8:30. But I’d tell my dad that I couldn’t go to bed. Not because of the sun, but because I wasn’t used to it. I vividly remember how different my room would feel when the sun was setting at 9pm. I hated it to the point where it’d make me anxious and scared. As I’ve grown, I’ve understood what causes me to feel so out of place when it’s a rainy day. My routine has always been the same for the most part: I wake up, I run to the store to get a monster, I clean/watch tv/work/hangout with friends, and then at night (which is crucial), I’m in bed around 10pm & I burn incense and watch tv for a bit until i’m ready to sleep. When things get in the way of that schedule, I go in panic mode. It’s almost like derealization when something is off in my normal routine. Like I feel like I’m in a different home, a different timeline, a dream almost. Since i’m older, It takes more for me to feel this way, but when I was younger, just watching a movie in my room would set me off because I’ve never watched a movie as a part of my routine. I know this is all over the place but I always wonder if everyone feels this way, but my OCD just intensifies it. It’s such a big part of my life, this sort of anxiety. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. I want to have my friends stay the night, but I can’t have people overnight in my room because it’ll change the whole “vibe” of the room. Something unfamiliar happening in my room is a nightmare for me. Another thing: I enjoy rearranging my room quite often and I figure that’s because It’s change I can control. But I always dread the night after it’s changed and I have to force myself into getting used to how it feels and being used to the way things are. But it really takes a toll on me; sometimes I end up crying because of it. ALSO! This affects relationships as well. If I’m in a relationship, I have to let in someone who has never been apart of my routine and my schedule before and that’s terrifying and almost impossible to get past. I know if I just let myself get used to the new feeling of having someone APART of my routine/schedule I can get used to it, but it’s harddd. Lastly, going overnight to people’s houses isn’t awful for me, because It doesn’t affect what’s mine. Does that make sense? Since I’m not in my room, my house, my backyard, etc, there’s nothing to change. Only the fact that i’m in a different place which used to be an issue, but my body/mind has accepted that I will go to different places and i’m very optimistic so i’m not one to just live in a bubble for the rest of my life. I would love to travel, but I don’t know how I could when I fear so much change. I leave for college soon and i’m DREADING the change because I know a whole different room is going to have me stressing 😭😭. If anyone understands this feeling even just by a little, I greatly appreciate if you leave a comment or even if u don’t relate, advice would be helpful:) Thank you!
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