Ben m
- Date posted
- 6y
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes. It’s so confusing. There is a part of me that just wants to say “fuck it” and live by the thoughts. No matter how unhappy and scared it might make me. At least then maybe they’d shut up. And I could stop working so hard all the time. But the idea also makes me want to throw up. When I feel like I’m “accepting” the thoughts almost completely, I’m in a full or partial state of panic. And I just can’t imagine that that’s how someone is supposed to feel when coming out. I imagine that internally you feel at peace with the idea (or at least know it’s true for sure) and then decide it’s time to incorporate it into your external life because it’s what you really want. Internally, I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I’m just scared every which way. Scared of being in denial or inauthentic, scared of becoming someone I don’t really know or ever imagined being. Scared of losing myself either way.
OcdsuxsOcdsuxs
- Date posted
- 6y
I did lol
OcdsuxsOcdsuxs
- Date posted
- 6y
I confused the heck out of my self and friends
OcdsuxsOcdsuxs
- Date posted
- 6y
I had people congratulating me for coming out but I wanted to take it back as soon as I did it LMAOOO I think about it and it actually makes me uncomfortable
OcdsuxsOcdsuxs
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not into women at all but I find them attractive like “she’s pretty” but I got so overwhelmed with anxiety I came out as bi and literally felt awful and confused afterwards cause I never want to sleep with a girl or hold hands or any of that I just made myself believe this. It’s just a thought
Ben mBen m
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m struggling with the trans ocd
CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
Confession is an OCD compulsion. Dont feed into OCD by giving in to compulsions.
Ben mBen m
- Date posted
- 6y
My anxiety isn’t even as bad anymore but that alone scares me
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
My anxiety is no where near as bad as it was a year ago. The fact that I only almost throw up at the prospect of accepting them completely is a huge change. And that scares me too. It could mean getting over OCD. Or it could mean slowly accepting them as true. But I guess with OCD, you gotta accept that risk to get better. I try to remind myself that either way, all I really want is to be true to myself. Either outcome should achieve that, right?
Ben mBen m
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been finding the temptation to
ryryryry
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m with y’all. My anxiety when this all started was extreme. This time around it’s not as extreme and it scares me that it’s not.
SickMannnnSickMannnn
- Date posted
- 6y
Just do not give in if you dont.The start will fights but at least you live for yourself
Related posts
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel like this is it
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
Ampyyy
- Date posted
- 23w
Hocd
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
evasprog
- Date posted
- 11w
I feel like it’s getting worse
I feel like the thoughts and feelings are getting stronger, to the point where they feel like they are my own and that I want them and want them to happen. Recently I’ve even had feelings of ‘wanting to be gay’ and that I ‘don’t want to be straight’, or that being with a woman would be nice even though that’s literally the one thing I don’t want otherwise I wouldn’t be constantly thinking about it day after day surely and if I wanted it I would just know? I feel numb and sick and terrified that I’ll just be what I’ve feared all this time. Why does my brain do this. I feel like I’ve lost so much already, I couldn’t concentrate on university work and I’ve had to delay my degree for a year, I’ve lost my purpose, and I feel so ashamed that I can’t tell anyone the real reason for it (I just told everyone the course was too much stress and was causing me anxiety) and it just feels like it’s getting worse to the point that it’s actually coming true, and I’m going to have to leave my boyfriend because I can’t be with him anymore. Why do the thoughts sometimes feel good? Why does it feel like real attraction? Why why why does it feel like DISAPPOINTMENT with the idea of never being with a woman wtf this is literally what I don’t want and never have? Even just writing that out my brain is telling me ‘it is’ and ‘I’m lying’ and I just can’t even believe myself anymore. I’ve tried telling myself the whole maybe maybe not but it just doesn’t work. It feels like if I accept I like woman I’ll want to be with one and leave him. Why does the idea of being with a man not fill me with excitement like it used to why do labels terrify me I genuinely just want to give up I still haven’t even told anyone about this cause I just feel like they won’t understand and that they will just think I’m struggling with my sexuality and the worst thing is I don’t even know what I want anymore cause of the thoughts and feelings I don’t know what to believe what if I am actually just struggling with my sexuality cause nothing feels right anymore
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