I would love to hear about this method of saying this "maybe thing" to the thoughts. Honestly it seems WILD to me and WILDLY triggering. At times I will get a thought and reason with myself and it goes away eg. reminding myself that love ebbs and flows. Is this bad? Is it a form of reassurance seeking? Just curious and would really appreciate some opinions if anyone has time! 😌
If it doesn’t work for you that’s fine, the essence of it is embracing and tolerating the feeling of uncertainty when a distressing thoughts enters your mind.
@Ghost123 Ok interesting. So is it always with this focus on the uncertainty? And not specifically the possible validity of the thought?
@sparrow Yes so it honestly depends but generally speaking from my experience, the thoughts are just thoughts, not reality. Your OCD confuses the two which creates a feeling of uncertainty hence the anxiety you usually get from it. Embracing this grey area of uncertainty with ERP helps you to tolerate and reduce the long-term intensity of this phenomenon. And this usually happens when you thought becomes intrusive and just doesn’t stop repeating because it wants you to seek validation over things in a way that doesn’t reflect your core values Embracing such a grey area and the feelings associate with it helps you to realise that all it is is just a thought 💭. This will be different to different to people as we all have our traumas but generally speaking, it’s a thought, not a fact. With ERP, you will feel more confident in handling these thoughts and develop a healthy level of skepticism and relationship with thoughts in a way that doesn’t encourage OCD and prevents it from the toxic cycle it usually becomes. Note: I’m not a professional and OCD recovery is incredibly nuanced for people with different backgrounds but what I said about ERP is true for me.
@Ghost123 Thank you for your detailed response! I am not familiar with erp because I live in Europe and we focus on cbt for ocd here. So one more question. When you do erp are you always doing it through this lens of accepting the uncertainty? No matter what topic the erp is targeting?
@sparrow I understand, ERP is the gold standard but for some CBT can work too. And not to be rude at all but I can sense your reassurance seeking 😅 so I will keep it brief: yes ERP is always about embracing uncertainty in intrusive and annoying thoughts with any theme ranging from family matters to SOCD. OCD themes are a spectrum in which some people only suffer from certain types of OCD with its respective themes whereas some get mixed obsessions (I have this). With a therapist, you can slowly learn what themes and types of OCD you have and how it affects your daily life and vice versa. It’s a different story for everyone but starts off the same - in the mind.
@Ghost123 Haha noooo I was trying so hard not to reassurance seek 🫣 I am in therapy for ocd and have been for a long time but I am just now starting to experiment with ERP and was just looking for some pointers. Thanks it’s all very helpful!
@Ghost123 I know it comes across as a bit reassurance seeking but really my therapist is a CBT therapist and ERP isn’t something she really does. Her approach to ERP is a bit give it a go and see what happens but I have no idea how often you’re supposed to do it/for how long/ what times of day bla bla bla and I’m really just looking for guidance.
@sparrow You’re welcome and okay I totally understand. I was just being careful coz OCD can creep up anytime. It’s ultimately up to you, but just know ERP is the gold standard for dealing with OCD. I was skeptical at first too, incredibly skeptical but it really does work. I went from having roughly 1 session every week for months to now 1 session a month. That’s how much I have been able to progress. So I advocate for ERP if you wanted my honest opinion on it.
@sparrow With how it works, I would honestly go for a session first with a professional. You could try here or somewhere else that has a long term reputation for using ERP for OCD (ERP also works for anxiety too because it encourages resilience).
@Ghost123 Ok nice I’m looking forward to trying it. Thanks again 😊👍🏻
@sparrow I also wanted to mention that uncertainty doesn’t always have to a bad outcome, you could reframe uncertainty in a different way, embracing the randomness and luck of life when you find a good work opportunity for instance.
@Ghost123 Yes that’s a nice way to put it 😌
Yes it's saying the word 'maybe' but for me it was more like an action to perform, a word to say that replaced the going down the rabbit hole of a compulsion and served to bring me back to the present. After a couple of months of effort to remember to say it, I noticed it started to become an automatic response. It still is, and now I think it truly feels like accepting uncertainty, but for a long time it felt more like a signal to not engage in rumination etc. I don't know if that makes sense! I suppose what I'm saying is, don't overanalyse what it means to say maybe - because that's just engaging with the thought. Literally just say it, remind yourself to say it whenever you notice you're getting caught up. It takes time and lots of practice to notice your thoughts, notice when you're engaging in compulsions. It will take a while before your brain starts automatically responding differently.
@ada110 Thanks that’s really insightful! Makes me wonder though if it could turn into a compulsion somehow like a pathway to a distraction compulsion. But if it works for so many people I will definitely try it out 😊
@sparrow I hear what you're saying - I've second guessed so much during my recovery as I'm so aware of not wanting something to become a compulsion. I think it's good that you're aware of that it means you're understanding your OCD, but remember as well that sometimes we can apply 'maybe maybe not' if we start worrying if something is a compulsion or not - it's about not getting too caught up in finding certainty over any of it 🧡
@ada110 I’ve never thought about it like that before that is helpful thank you!
@sparrow You're welcome! 'Meta OCD' can become a theme in itself! Good to be aware of things like worrying if you're doing therapy/recovery 'right', if you'll never get better, if you're overanalysing if something is a compulsion or not, if you even have OCD..! 🤦♀️
@ada110 Totally!
When I was a child, before I knew this was OCD, I struggled with constant "magical thinking" compulsions (don't step on the crack or mom's back will actually break, etc). When I later learned this was OCD, it almost immediately solved it. Any time I got a magical thought, I would say to myself "that's just an OCD thought. ignore it." and it just stopped coming! Like seriously it fixed the magical thinking stuff forever. But of course the OCD has resurfaced in other ways. So naturally, I've tried to use the same strategy since I had so much success with it previously. But I wonder sometimes if telling myself "that's just OCD" is almost functioning as a reassurance compulsion? I hate how meta this gets. For example, I have ROCD that comes and goes. So sometimes I'll get a thought like "what if i'm still in love with my ex?" and then I'll tell myself "that's obviously just an ROCD thought" and will feel relief, almost like reassurance. But it comes back. So is telling myself that it's OCD a reassurance compulsion ?? It's just so weird because it worked so perfectly as a kid with the magical thinking thing.
Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍
I see a lot of posts and comments here along the lines of... "the thoughts/urges aren't you -- they're just OCD." Though this is often true and comforting, isn't this just a form of reassurance? The way to beat OCD is by accepting that the distressing thoughts MAY be true/real, a.k.a. "from you" or "not just OCD." By brushing distressing things off as "just OCD," you excuse the thoughts and therefore feel reassured. Obviously it is good to be aware of what OCD does to you and know when you're experiencing a spiral, but crediting all distressing thoughts to OCD is a way of finding certainty about them. What do you guys think of this? Am I right or wrong? This is just the way I think about it, but I see the "this is just OCD" thing so much on here and I often wonder if that is a form of reassurance.
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