- Date posted
- 2y
So...
In past few days, it looks like I'm getting better but still have intrusive thoughts
In past few days, it looks like I'm getting better but still have intrusive thoughts
Hi, that’s great to hear that your feeling your getting better. I know when I first started my journey to active recovery I would have intrusive thoughts but not feel anxious which was super strange and at the beginning made me feel the need to complete compulsions other wise I’m a bad person ….. WRONG, that’s the OCD voice creeping back in ! Allow them intrusive thoughts to come and go as they please, don’t engage with them and just let them be. I like to see them almost like a sneeze or yawn, we don’t always know why they happen and most of the time we can’t stop them and we also shouldn’t wast time and effort figuring out what causes them. Just like your intrusive thoughts let them be as there’s nothing there for you to figure out. Keep fighting, keep going, you have got this 🙂
@Billy 1 Hey there I notcie you have similar themes as I do, how did you stop doing compulsions and just believe your own judgement. Have the fears ever turned out to be true desires for you? Deep down I know who I am but it’s so clouded that at the same time I don’t! I can’t afford therapy either is it possible to rid this on my own?
@Tombrady1824 In the end it’s not about trusting your own judgment. There’s always a small small chance that maybe it actually happened. It’s about accepting the uncertainty and living with the uncomfortableness of the thoughts. Let them be there. Maybe the thought did happen maybe not. Maybe that is your desire, maybe it’s not. But we don’t care anymore. You got this!
@maxine I am glad you are seeing some good results. Please remember recovery is progress not perfection. In my experience, the best way to handle the intrusive thoughts is to not try to push them out of my mind nor try to analyze them. Instead let them pass through your mind; limiting your response to something neutral like “thanks OCD” or “maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not”. I know easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier. I wish you all the best in your recovery journey.
Keep going! You got this. The thoughts will get less and less convincing and less and less frequent. You can do this!
If I just ignore them and do no compulsions?
@Tombrady1824 Just let the thoughts do what they want. Try not to get too involved about ignoring them because that can be OCD too. Just try to keep moving throughout your day and not do compulsions or ruminate the best you can.
Do any of you ever think on a past thought that you may have had and feel guilty about it? For example, I am in a great relationship, but I remembered a few days ago that I had a thought about my ex (this thought was well over a year ago.) The thought was, “what if I asked my ex to hangout? Would he want to?” And I don’t think that thought bothered me at the time, but it is eating me alive now. I’m afraid it didn’t bother me then because I actually wanted to hangout with him? How will I ever know the truth? I am asking because I find myself feeling guilty about past thoughts/feelings and I know that it is not an active intrusive thought. I feel like I can’t be happy with my boyfriend and that I’ve cheated on him because I had those thoughts. I would never cheat on him and I love him very much, but the uncertainty kills me. I know that I have to live with the uncertainty to get better.
So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?
Does anyone who has gotten better/healed with OCD ever experience that their thoughts and urges get more difficult as you get better. I feel like I am getting better at handling certain things but I feel like now newer themes and such get more difficult as I progress. I was curious if this is kind of the process to getting better. Weirdly, like it makes sense the closer you are to getting better thoughts become worst and stronger since you are doing better. Just need to keep on pushing and doing what I have been. Let me know, would love to hear your guys thoughts and feedback
I am (or was)! Yesterday, I started to get really anxious for unknown reasons, and then (just my luck) I got triggered by something online 😭 It's always so... humbling. I'm trying to sit with the intrusive thoughts at this moment, but I'm just feeling really icky and a bit down. With OCD, it's bound to happen at some point, I guess. Even without OCD, you're going to have good and bad days. It's just how life is 🥲 I'm just afraid of being slingshot back to how I felt a few months ago, which I know realistically WON'T happen, but my brain doesn't want me to think logically lol. I'm also afraid that the repetitive nature of OCD intrusive thoughts will somehow alter who I am as a person, making my fears a reality? It's weird. Classic OCD, but it still makes me anxious! I have been doing better not engaging with these thoughts, but occasionally, I'll accidentally argue back. It doesn't help because then my brain says, "You're just in denial, and you're actually a bad person!" And whenever I say anything in opposition of something against my morals, it feels performative or fake for some reason 🫠 I'm just venting at this point, I'm sorry! Anyway, if anyone reads this, I hope you're doing okay, and if not, I hope things look up soon. Take care of yourselves, stay hydrated, and rest well!
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