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Hi! I’ve been struggling with this theme since I was about 13 years old. I also am not immediately attracted to the “typical” shirtless guy. I think there’s a lot of people who feel that way but society tells us that’s what’s attractive. For me, my attraction to men is so much more than nudity and muscles lol. Some people need to get to know someone before the attraction is there. I know this topic has come up a bunch on here so I hope some others respond - not for reassurance, but so you feel less alone.

Hey, it’s sounds like your really struggling right now. OCD will latch on to anything that creates anxiety due to doubt as it’s a doubting disorder. It seems that your in constant flight mode right now where your ruminating around historic matters and all the “what ifs” has you in this state with you obsessing over matters…… ERP has taught me to sit with these “what if” thoughts, allow the anxiety to rise sit with it and not complete any compulsions/rumination’s and it will slowly decrease. It’s the compulsions and rumination’s that keep it alive and create the cycle of doom! The best saying my therapist has taught me as part of exposure is “maybe you are, maybe your not”……. Maybe your attracted to men and maybe your not. There’s nothing here for you to figure out my friend, the more you do the more your OCD will grow and take control. I’ve attached some useful links for you to have a read over as well as what ERP is and a free 15 minute consultation to explore therapy further. Know that OCD can be controlled and you can live a happy, healthy life again! Believe in yourself, your strong ! What is ERP https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-exposure-and-response-prevention-therapy 15 min consultation https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar?src=homepage&_gl=1*dpgbx1*_gcl_aw*R0NMLjE2MzY2NTk5MTQuQ2p3S0NBaUFtN09NQmhBUUVpd0FydkdpM0QwaEhYczN1Q0ZabWhVRUF4RndaaDJoa3AxbTRnek9TRWQweUJ4U3pqeU1SRU9FNGVwZkFSb0NNY0VRQXZEX0J3RQ.. https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-ruminating-ocd

Hi, so sorry you’re struggling. It is important to understand that all of this time you are spending trying to “figure this out” is rumination, which is a compulsion and it’s making your OCD worse. It’s all about trying to gain certainty and the more you try to be certain, no matter what your OCD theme, the less certain you will become. Allow the feeling to be there, stop trying to figure it out. Have you reached out for therapy? NOCD offers a free 15 minute call. This video may also help https://youtu.be/VRAV79AXSZc. Take care!