- Date posted
- 1y ago
Rocd
Can anyone either private message me about this. I really need advice and I feel so defeated
Can anyone either private message me about this. I really need advice and I feel so defeated
So I experienced this big time as soon as I made it official with my man. I had a lot doubts. Do I actually like him? Do I really want to be with him? I felt so ambivalent for a while, despite feeling perfectly fine prior to taking things serious. For me, I realized in past flings I was so mistreated that now that I was receiving normalcy and the right type of love and treatment, I didn’t know how to react to it and almost wanted to push it away because I was used to toxicity. What I did is I told myself to just take things day by day, and that soon enough, it would work out and it did.
@BlueGlasses I’ve been mistreated a lot and he treats me like a princess. I don’t wanna mess it up. But I feel numb and sick to my stomach can rocd make you feel that way ?
@Rachel2727 Absolutely. I feel the same anxiety as you do. I am with the man of my dreams and I’m so scared of screwing things up that it makes me physically ill. I don’t always have that anxiety. Sometimes you have to learn to live in the moment. It helps.
@BlueGlasses Thank you !!
Thanks for sharing. So yes what you're describing definitely sounds like ROCD. At its worst, any OCD obsessions can make you feel like rock bottom, whatever that looks like for you. ROCD also doesn't usually come into play when you're not in a relationship but of course when you are, it can spike. I would recommend not doing anything in the relationship that you may regret until you're sure of what you're feeling and want to do. Talk to your bf if you can and ensure he understands what's going on. If you can't then I understand but hopefully you can talk to someone. If you are working with a therapist you will likely look into creating exposures related to this situation. Best wishes and let me know if anything else. Also looking online is not always the best since it can be a compulsion in itself, especially as you describe it
@SamL I have talked to my boyfriend about it. He’s very supportive. I just don’t wanna ruin it. I’ve been very open about it
@Rachel2727 I know the sharing part is tough but the more your partner understands, the better they will hopefully be able to support you. Our OCD plays on the fear that something bad will happen if we discuss it because it doesn't want us to...
@SamL Thank you !!!
Thank you so much guys !! I really appreciate it
What's going on Rachel? Happy to provide any advice I can :)
@SamL I think it’s rocd but I just have questions. Like can it make you sick to your stomach? Can you have rocd in the beginning of a relationship? Can it make you numb? I just need answers because I don’t wanna break up with my bf. I keep going back and forth because when we’re not together I miss him and I’m like I love him but when we’re together my head has all these doubts and I’m stressed
@SamL I keep looking for answers but nothing is satisfying me
@Rachel2727 Everything you described is me. I wake up feeling sick to my stomach. I instantly start overthinking. & yess now I am at a point where I am completely numb. We got an a disagreement & I felt blahhh. I can’t get sad or happy or anything. I even tries testing my feelings with a sad. & I mean sad insta video & I literally felt nothing
@Monii0294 I’m sorry you’re going through it ! I hope it gets better for you
I’m really frustrated with myself. I got diagnosed with ROCD about 2 and a half weeks ago and now it’s taken over my life. I was just with my boyfriend who is absolutely amazing and I was obsessed with 2 and a half weeks ago and then a switch flipped and I started questioning everything and have gone numb. I noticed immediately something was wrong and booked an appt with my therapist who sent me to an OCD therapist who I meet with on Wednesday for the first time. I’m frustrated because when I’m with him I know what I should be feeling and can acknowledge how great he is and how good looking he is but I feel this block in my chest keeping me from feeling things. Anyone have any advice or has ever felt this way? I know I’m new to this and haven’t started therapy yet but my god it is so draining and the guilt I feel is insane. Let me know please🙏
Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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