You can do this

@Shianne it can. i’m so sorry it can. it’s so hard to beat up under things that should never have happened

@dand_eli_on *bear

@Anonymous I do have the same theme as before, I’ll get odd thoughts from other themes but they don’t stick around long. I Was totally free for over 5 years. Then I had a bunch of stressors hit within a span of 2 months and I believe that is what caused the flare up. Also one important thing to note is that I never discussed with my previous therapist about the possibility of dealing with it again. That topic just never came up. If I had known I would have been more prepared and would have continued the work to manage. This time I know more if the nature of it, I am determined to get past this flare up and learn skills for the future. Our lives are too important to let this define us.

@Jadedreams Oh and I forgot but I am taking meds, not a big fan to be honest but more so because I’m prone to side effects. They are more for depression though but I do think one helps with ocd. I was on meds before too but was totally off them for a while.

@Jadedreams Same for me it’s harm theme that is bothering me the most

@Jadedreams Would you say it’s possible to recover without meds??

@Anonymous It’s not easy for sure, but the less importance you give the thoughts the less they will show up. Have you had ocd a while or is this your first time going through it?

@Anonymous Yes I believe so, even had this discussion with my counselor and she agreed. For me I got depression this time around which was making things harder. Just had too much happen at once, family illnesses, death in family, home repairs. It was a lot to deal with.

@Jadedreams I’ve had it for a while. 4 years ago I had this weird anxiety attack and that kinda led me to attach it to diff themes. But my worse brutal one was harm ocd and suicidal ocd. I felt like I was going insane i immediately went to a therapist and they wanted to throw me on meds. Prozac. Was not ocd based at all. I was too scared to walk out in public because of all the horrifying thoughts I had of hurting strangers. Ubers included. I remember having intense urges and they feel so real. My mind kept telling me to act on these thoughts. My body felt like I needed to. My brain kept telling me to I wanted to see the reaction. It was such a dark place in my life. It somehow went away after 4 years of torture. I had a few flare ups but I barely remembered it tbh. But 2 years after having a decent life. Randomly it came full flare. I was at the station and I knew it was my ocd again and my brain was like “ do you wanna go through this torture again? Commit suicide and don’t deal with it. Jump in front of the tracks” literally the whole 4 years kinda traumatized me. And it’s so weird because in those two years I was doing well. I had thoughts about it pop up and it didn’t affect me in any way. So why is it making me go crazy? I can’t go outside. I can’t look forward to vacation. Every where I go I have these real thoughts. I feel horrible talking to coworkers and my friends and begin to isolate myself. Looking at other people kinda trigger me because I’m scared one day I’m gonna go insane and I won’t ever enjoy my life. This flare is gonna make my ocd worse. I feel horrible. I can’t even go into and office and do my job. Can’t this go away for the rest of my life. I want to enjoy my summer. I have my first session ERP w NOCD this Friday. I try to leave the thoughts in my head and I can be around knives and all. But just the images and urges are scaring me and making me sob. I can’t stop. I’m worried about even latching diff themes and I’m scared of being alone. Everyday I wake up anxious and scared how horrible my day will be.

@Anonymous I’ve been there, where all You want to do is sleep so you can’t think or feel. I’m better than I was when this flare started, but right now it’s ups and downs. The emotions attached to the thoughts are what make it feel so real. If you think about it though, how many random thoughts pop in our heads all the time. Some are scary, some funny, some boring and some are just plain weird. It’s only the scary ones that bother us because they are the opposite of who we are. Harm and suicidal ocd definitely suck, my therapist said harm ocd is actually the most common theme she’s seen. So you are not alone. I was afraid to be alone and even took knives and meds out of my house at my worst. It can get better, really talk to your therapist during your meeting. They have seen many people with our issues and are there to help! I’m hoping your night is a little more calm and tomorrow is a little more peaceful for you.

@Jadedreams It’s not … I have the urges that make me really think I’m gonna push someone off the tracks. It’s the urges… I have to take the train tmrw should I go and expose myself to see? I’m just scared cus I have the office tomorrow.

@Anonymous When’s your first appointment with NOCD? You might want to go over a list of exposures with them, etc. but generally exposures are what we need to do to train our brains.

@Jadedreams Tmrw!