Rocd

Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!

Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!

Hey guys, I’m reaching out in a pretty weak spot of desperation. I feel so insane and so sick of my mind recently, I’m completely drained from my mind. I’ve had such bad spikes of RCOD in my relationship of 1.5 years , which kills me because I truly want nothing more than to just be his peace and for us to work out. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. I feel like the pressure I placed on making sure I was “perfect” was so counter productive becuase instead I find myself doing everything wrong. I tell myself not to think of the wrong thing, then I think of the wrong thing, then I feel so guilty, and it plagues my mind for days. I feel so guilty it makes me feel detached and like I’m a bad girlfriend. I feel so bad for always burdening him with my anxieties and my “wrong thoughts” becuase he doesn’t deserve it, he’s so amazing. Recently, I began overthinking if I “love him” which I KNOW is so silly because when I’m calm, I laugh that I even got so worried , but when my anxiety creeps in, it feels so debilitating. I spiral and then try to prove to myself that I do love him , which then makes things in that moment feel “forced” because I’m acting out of intent to win the battle in my head. My RCOD has been a persistent issue, but this particular theme is pretty new and I hate it. I feel like I’ve been placing pressure on myself to overly appreciate him and it’s so counterproductive. I feel so bad because I told him about everything and he now thinks I don’t love him. Which is so wrong. I just want this to be fixed. Sometimes I feel like he’d be better off with a girl that isn’t such a headache and wouldn’t drain him all of the time but at the same time , I could never accept him being with anyone but me. Also, I have seen a psychoglist but it just didn’t feel right and I hated vocalising my thoughts because I felt it gave them more power - it feels like the only person I can truly be raw with about this stuff is my bestfriend. If anyone has any tips , PLEASE help me.