- Username
- 12354462
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Confusion
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Kind of like "if you do this x thing you don't want to do, then you'll feel better"
Oh yeah definitely… My ocd was telling me "break up with your bf now because you’re gonna marry a woman even if you don’t want cause you know you’re secretly a lesbian" 🥲🥲 I almost did it, like honestly I was ready to go on a date with a random girl even if it make me unhappy (like I was depressed by the idea of it) but just so my ocd can shut and because it almost convince me I was. It’s like If I "discovered the truth" but the idea of me with a woman make me so miserable like I don’t want to but you know OCD is like "it’s because you’re in denial you gonna love it" 💀
@LolaG My OCD is telling me to break up with my girlfriend whom I love very, very much and feel like at home with for similar reasons. It sucks. Also the denial thing, YES. It's so convincing it feels unreal. I've always been proud and confident with my orientation but this condition made me doubt it and it's making me SICK. "You don't know before you try being with a man, you won't be fulfilled!" Like shut the fuck up bro.
@12354462 Yeah definitely I feel you, my brain screaming that I would be happier with a woman even if the idea of being with a woman made so unhappy like
Yep. It’s super annoying but trust me if you act on the thought it’s not gonna be nice it doesn’t make you feel better … I know from experience with my relationship ocd, in the past I got in my head about leaving someone I liked or loved cause I’m always doubting it, and ended up just regretting my action and being super mad at myself and missing the person I just left even though my ocd thoughts said this or that during the relationship. So that’s how I know it’s all just bullshit in my head .. as far the sexual orientation I know I’m not sexually attracted to the same sex but that shit is annoying when you know you don’t really like it or have any interest in it but you still think and think and think and think maybe I am maybe I’m not or what if I am or what if that ..
@Iamtheonewhooverthinks I know. In the past, I've given up to the compulsions that would momentarily offer relief. I'd be miserable without my partner. I love her so much. Also it's weird because I know I love her, so much, but the anxiety and constant non-stop ruminating makes me go "but what if...?" Like it's insane.
Sometimes I have thoughts that I would normally assume to be ocd, not sound like ocd. I start to think/feel that it's God telling me to do these things?? I then end up feeling guilty for not immediately implementing these things into my life. I hate that so much of what used to feel like ocd seems unclear. I don't feel like a good person. I know a lot of sermons aren't made with ocd in mind, but I feel like I'm not listening to God if I don't listen to thoughts I would've thought were ocd before
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