Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Kind of like "if you do this x thing you don't want to do, then you'll feel better"
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@stephanieRs I've been meaning to practice meditation. I think it'd be great help. Thank you!
Oh yeah definitely… My ocd was telling me "break up with your bf now because you’re gonna marry a woman even if you don’t want cause you know you’re secretly a lesbian" 🥲🥲 I almost did it, like honestly I was ready to go on a date with a random girl even if it make me unhappy (like I was depressed by the idea of it) but just so my ocd can shut and because it almost convince me I was. It’s like If I "discovered the truth" but the idea of me with a woman make me so miserable like I don’t want to but you know OCD is like "it’s because you’re in denial you gonna love it" 💀
@LolaG My OCD is telling me to break up with my girlfriend whom I love very, very much and feel like at home with for similar reasons. It sucks. Also the denial thing, YES. It's so convincing it feels unreal. I've always been proud and confident with my orientation but this condition made me doubt it and it's making me SICK. "You don't know before you try being with a man, you won't be fulfilled!" Like shut the fuck up bro.
@12354462 Yeah definitely I feel you, my brain screaming that I would be happier with a woman even if the idea of being with a woman made so unhappy like
Yep. It’s super annoying but trust me if you act on the thought it’s not gonna be nice it doesn’t make you feel better … I know from experience with my relationship ocd, in the past I got in my head about leaving someone I liked or loved cause I’m always doubting it, and ended up just regretting my action and being super mad at myself and missing the person I just left even though my ocd thoughts said this or that during the relationship. So that’s how I know it’s all just bullshit in my head .. as far the sexual orientation I know I’m not sexually attracted to the same sex but that shit is annoying when you know you don’t really like it or have any interest in it but you still think and think and think and think maybe I am maybe I’m not or what if I am or what if that ..
@Iamtheonewhooverthinks I know. In the past, I've given up to the compulsions that would momentarily offer relief. I'd be miserable without my partner. I love her so much. Also it's weird because I know I love her, so much, but the anxiety and constant non-stop ruminating makes me go "but what if...?" Like it's insane.
That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
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