- Date posted
- 2y
Confusion
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Kind of like "if you do this x thing you don't want to do, then you'll feel better"
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@stephanieRs I've been meaning to practice meditation. I think it'd be great help. Thank you!
Oh yeah definitely… My ocd was telling me "break up with your bf now because you’re gonna marry a woman even if you don’t want cause you know you’re secretly a lesbian" 🥲🥲 I almost did it, like honestly I was ready to go on a date with a random girl even if it make me unhappy (like I was depressed by the idea of it) but just so my ocd can shut and because it almost convince me I was. It’s like If I "discovered the truth" but the idea of me with a woman make me so miserable like I don’t want to but you know OCD is like "it’s because you’re in denial you gonna love it" 💀
@LolaG My OCD is telling me to break up with my girlfriend whom I love very, very much and feel like at home with for similar reasons. It sucks. Also the denial thing, YES. It's so convincing it feels unreal. I've always been proud and confident with my orientation but this condition made me doubt it and it's making me SICK. "You don't know before you try being with a man, you won't be fulfilled!" Like shut the fuck up bro.
@12354462 Yeah definitely I feel you, my brain screaming that I would be happier with a woman even if the idea of being with a woman made so unhappy like
Yep. It’s super annoying but trust me if you act on the thought it’s not gonna be nice it doesn’t make you feel better … I know from experience with my relationship ocd, in the past I got in my head about leaving someone I liked or loved cause I’m always doubting it, and ended up just regretting my action and being super mad at myself and missing the person I just left even though my ocd thoughts said this or that during the relationship. So that’s how I know it’s all just bullshit in my head .. as far the sexual orientation I know I’m not sexually attracted to the same sex but that shit is annoying when you know you don’t really like it or have any interest in it but you still think and think and think and think maybe I am maybe I’m not or what if I am or what if that ..
@Iamtheonewhooverthinks I know. In the past, I've given up to the compulsions that would momentarily offer relief. I'd be miserable without my partner. I love her so much. Also it's weird because I know I love her, so much, but the anxiety and constant non-stop ruminating makes me go "but what if...?" Like it's insane.
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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