im suffering

i skipped and avoided final exam last year and failed because of ocd now this year ive been okay until this month because final exam are 2 week away i have same thaugh of last year should i do skip and run again ? is it worth suffering exams that i already know im failing it ? which is more painful ocd or my family blaming me again for skipping "please dont tell me to face my fears and take exams because its not easy its impossible especially final exams policy where u can't leave class for 3hours straight i can't hold on that long I'll probably have heart attack during all that time"

ecoogan07

Date posted: 1y ago

I had this problem when I was 20 or so. I didn’t skip exams, but I did stop going to class, and I did stop doing assignments on time. It was so, so, so hard to get out of bed in the morning. At that time, I applied for academic relief and left school. Now, 6 years later I have a BS in biology and am almost done with a Master’s in the same. It took me longer than is typically expressed, and it took me longer than I wanted, but my career outlook moving forward is so much better for it. Your school likely has resources such as applications for academic relief and an association for students with disabilities (if you’re in the states; I can’t speak to other countries). If you’re struggling as much as you seem to be, you likely qualify for both these options, and I would highly suggest you reach out to a trusted professor, RA, or other student advisor. Ask them about academic relief or applying as to be recognized as a student with disabilities. I will warn you: if the only accommodation they’re willing to give you is extended time to complete tests, it may not be the most help. In my experience, OCD fills up the time I have available and still leaves me as worse for wear as I would be with a greater restriction on time. You will need to navigate carefully, but the path is navigable.

hamzax47

Date posted: 1y ago

unfortunately our school system is very strict especially in final exam there is no resources helping you no student with disabilities special treatment it basically like a prison

ecoogan07

Date posted: 1y ago

@hamzax47 Hm…. Is it a high school or a college, by chance?

hamzax47

Date posted: 1y ago

@ecoogan07 highschool

ecoogan07

Date posted: 1y ago

@hamzax47 Ah. That’s different from what I assumed. My bad. Do you trust anyone in administration?

hamzax47

Date posted: 1y ago

im dropping out school anyway i can never success with ocd my life already ruined im 21 year old and cant even stay in class for exam ..

hamzax47

Date posted: 1y ago

i really wanted to pass i guess its not gonna happen ever no matter what if i take exams or I don't 2year of my life i just lost and here im talking to myself and going back to something i never wanted to go back to

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your mental health is very important and it’s okay to take a break to recover, even though you may feel like a 'failure' for leaving school. I know you probably also have a lot of pressure on your shoulders, but there’s no time limit or single path you have to take in order to succeed. Everyone’s journey is different. And just like a physical illness, you have to prioritize your wellbeing till you’re better so you can thrive and get to where you want to be later on. You can always return to college/university when you’re feeling better. This isn’t the end; things can change for the better and you will get through this 🩷

Brian__

Date posted: 25w ago

Abt to give up atp

I’m so sick of this disorder I really am. I’m failing school because I havent gone in 5 days because of ocd, im sick right now but I could easily go to school if I wanted to, it’s not because I’m sick, it’s because I’m genuinely afraid to go out, I did a exposure by going to a fair two days ago and it was genuinely fucking horrible, I don’t feel like it helped me. I’m gonna go to school tomorrow but I’m just terrified and I know I’m gonna be miserable and it’s gonna flare up horribly. I don’t want to accept or cope with the fact I have ocd. I don’t want to be ok with my thoughts, why should I have to be ok with my thoughts to get better? Why was I made this way? Why can’t I just be normal? I don’t want to accept the fact I have horrible disgusting thoughts why should I? It makes me feel disgusting and sick. I just really wish I wasn’t dealing with this. I don’t want to die I just wish I was different, so different. I’m so sick of this. I know my past wasn’t my fault but I feel sick and disgusted and like I’m a sick fuck who should be killed or put in jail. I really can’t take it anymore i just want to be ok. I know what it feels like to be happy I just don’t know how to get back there. I was doing so good for 3 weeks. Not a single intrusive thought or urge. I was genuinely happy and now I feel horrible. I don’t want to live like this or be ok with it I just can’t it’s never gonna end why is it fair that I have to live like this?

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

Failing the GRE

Hi, I am new to this community and don’t know much about OCD or if i even have it. I am a college senior going to a university that is relatively close to my home (1.5 hr) My goal was to apply to OT school at my current school because I love it there and can’t imagine myself anywhere else. I have a high gpa, many observation hours, and was told i would be a top candidate-if I passed the GRE. This school is the only school in my state that requires the GRE for OT school. Well, with the stakes being so high I was a complete wreck before the exam. It stressed me out so much that even looking at study materials made me nauseous. I did not score high enough to get into my desired program when I took it. I am retaking it next Tuesday (which i had to beg the admissions committee to let me do due to it being past a due date) and i feel the weight of my whole future on my shoulders. If I don’t get into my desired program, I will have to go to programs that are very far from home/my boyfriend of two years who I currently live with. I feel if I don’t pass, I will have to move away to a different school and I will lose my boyfriend. He is my rock and is so important to me. My other option is to stay where I am and attend the radiography program at the local community college and stay close to home and be with my boyfriend . Note: i just decided to apply to OT school this year (changed major from nursing). Do I risk my relationship/happiness for a career that i don’t even know that I will enjoy or do i keep my relationship, stay close to home, but regret not taking a huge opportunity given to me. This situation stays in my mind all day and night which is stressing me out greatly. Sorry for such a long post, I just want an unbiased view on what I should do/how to get this thought out of my head. thx for listening <3

Sage._

Date posted: 8w ago

I don't think I can handle my ocd anymore

I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.

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