You’re looking for an answer that none of us can give you, unfortunately. Some people’s sense of humor is different from others’ and there’s no way for us to know if your boyfriend was joking with you and to what degree it was a joke or serious. And even if it was a joke, it doesn’t mean you have to find it funny. There’s also the opposite situation where people don’t say a joke but people laugh anyways. So this analysis is a dead end.
Some couples talk like this with each other and there isn’t a problem, others would think this is disrespectful. No one can tell you how to feel, however, if this is the first instance of feeling this way, you can always choose to act on your values and let him know how it feels (which you did), and hopefully he’s receptive to it. If not, that doesn’t mean your relationship is a failure and you need to leave right now. People are imperfect and they may not understand things the first time around.
I think this post was done as a way to seek certainty, clarity, and reassurance about how you feel, looking for people to give you an answer as to what to do, but realize that if you resort to that and you get two conflicting answers, you confusion will probably increase. A lot of us have a black and white mentality and when things fall in a gray area, we tend to want to delegate our choices and our thinking to other people, but when we realize that even they have different opinions, it can make things tricky.
For someone without OCD/anxiety, they can feel something and make a decision fairly decisively, even without knowing they’re making the right decision. However, we tend to evaluate the meaning of things, if it’s “right” or “wrong” and obsess about the morality, ethics, and minutia of things and it leads to more anxiety.
In this situation, all you can do is communicate how you feel, accept he may have been disrespectful, or may not have been, it may have been intentional, it may have not been, and let the chips fall where they may.
