- Username
- TheOverthinker1212
- Date posted
- 308d ago
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
ROCD / false memory /Prozac question
Ok 3 things here ; 1) I have recently started Prozac a few days ago. But my mind is still ruminating I know it takes time but has this helped anyone? I feel tired. Should I take it at night? I been taking it in the morning I’m on 20mgs my ocd keeps saying to me “well what if this is just hiding the truth from what your feeling and all your worries are true and the medicine will just make you feel and not care it’s all true?” Another thing.. has Prozac caused weight gain? I’m terrified it will as lexapro made me gain 25 lbs. 2)I feel bad that I voice my thoughts on here to people I don’t know rather then my husband. He briefly knows about ocd but not the details. And I don’t want to share every single thought with him.. i don’t want this to ruin my marriage. But it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong or betraying his trust getting advice from strangers. The thing is though my ocd revolves around my husband.. my crazy thoughts I have are things I just don’t think he will get. He once told me that he would get mad if other men were private messaging me with comfort and advice and I never thought about or questioned this until the one night I briefly opened up about my ocd. I only have ever really spoken to women in private over my ocd. My ocd has me questioning everything like if I deleted messages and don’t remember or just didn’t tell my husband. He said he understands I need the sense of community, but if I can’t afford a therapist at the moment idk where else to reach out for help. It’s not like I’m intentionally out here trying to form relationships. I just want advice. Why do I feel so guilty about it? Why do I feel guilty I don’t tell my husband I’m active on the support pages and tell him every single detail or interaction. And If I don’t tell him I’m lying or being sneaky. I know these are all innocent intentions on my end but my ocd and husbands comment makes me doubt myself. And 3) I’ve also doubted myself from things dating back 15 years ago. My “intentions thoughts and feelings” during a small break up period my husband and I had because I thought other people were attractive and wanted to be around them during that time. I remember my sisters friend specially jokingly pretended to kiss my hand at the bar saying hello and I feel like I would have disclosed this info to my husband back then when we got back together and even if he forgot if I brought it up to him again which he probably did forget, that I never told him about it, which I am sure I probably did? It sounds so silly. I’ve known my older sisters friends since we were young, and it just him trying to be funny. How do I remember this but can’t remember if I deleted messages that would go against my husbands concerns. Just doubting it constantly. I just hate that lately I’ve haven’t been able to trust myself and my memories and I feel like the simple act of seeking advice from like minded individuals is “wrong” since my husband made the comment it would upset him if other men are “comforting me” and not him. But that’s not even it. It’s just general advice. I’m not someone who would ever go out of my way to message a guy I don’t even know for “advice” .. other women? Yes I would and I have. But the ocd just makes me question everything. I don’t know how to get past this. It’s hard.