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Hello does anyone get such severe panic and anxiety that comes along with bad intrusive thoughts. Then the thoughts give you more panic because you feel you may act on them? Then I worry I’m going crazy, can anyone relate? Thank for reading

Have you ever been through Very bad thoughts about your brain wants to twist anything about good or bad like evil and good which is god and sat*n and panicking because you believe In god but your brain is messing with you have you ever felt like you're afraid you had commit blasmphy in your thoughts It's very bad thoughts like omg where does these toughts come from?? Please tell me your experience One moment I feel okay and I can pray and vent to god and other moment I'm so ashamed of myself for thinking like that Am I alone in this am I crazy?

so I put this into Gemini a couple mins ago but it just gave me the 988 to text but I feel like I don’t know if these thoughts are genuine or intrusive and just amplified because of how I was feeling. This is what I put in there I’ll just copy and paste. I got talking with my grandma and I felt like I needed to get it out but I just kept thinking deeper and deeper like thoughts like “I can’t do this anymore” or “when will this stop” and I have a lot of suicidal intrusive thoughts and sometimes when I feel in such fear and deep sorrow and dispare these thoughts feel so real that I can’t tell if they’re intrusive. But I immediately push them away of course even though I keep wanting to figure it out or figure out how I can break free from this doubt and second guessing. But it freaked me out that maybe I was actually contemplating or genuinely thinking about it or was close to snapping and giving up. Now I feel like I have to figure out of it was intrusive or not because that’s really serious if it is a real thought. I know it’s apart of ocd to figure it out but I can’t tell if it was my imagination made it seem way more real or when I imagined myself doing something to myself it felt like the probability became higher because I was in a state of severe distress. It’s like a thought when your heart is beating so fast you don’t wish it would stop beating you just want a break from it beating so loud or fast or you want it to get better. Idk I pictured myself just being stuck in my body and it freaked me out too like the fact I cant control what my body is doing. I’ve lost some weight the last couple months bc of stress and it just grosses me out thinking how bad I might be getting. I even started thinking maybe I need to be in a mental hospital. And just admit it and just get more help. The thing is I also felt like I had a decent day today but it took so much out of me trying to resist compulsions and “keeping” the good moment going without extreme fear especially of dying. I get so freaked out by random things even things touching me, certain sounds and wish it could all stop sometimes and I keep running away from things I think are triggers for my anxiety but it feels like it’s getting narrower.