- Date posted
- 2y
Reflection within the past few months with OCD
Hi everyone, I haven’t really posted anything on here for some time and I just wanted to touch upon my progression with my experience with OCD. Through these past few months, I’ve learned that OCD can truly become and latch onto any thought, outside and internal stimuli, past, present, and future events, and so much more. It can become anything that has uncertainty with it, which is everything that exists in this world. We can never truly know 100% the truth to all things, it’s why we have to always continue to live and move forward, which can be hard when OCD wants us to stay longer with the questions, obsessions, compulsions, and urges we want to express. It is extremely difficult and it takes practice to tell yourself to not engage with your worries, anxiety, depression, etc. by not engaging in the actions OCD wants us to continue ruminating over. It can also be challenging to recognize when you’re acting on a compulsion Or experiencing OCD. I can say I’ve been able to recognize when I’m experiencing ocd and acting on compulsions more than before and I’m doing better with learning how to stop myself from feeding my ocd. Although recently, ocd has been latching onto a real event ocd experience of mine that I’m having a lot of trouble letting go of and it is causing me to not want to live my life or move forward or do everything I want to do, causing myself to remain stagnant and not become the absolute best version of myself. Because of this real event experience, it’s making me not want to try with anything and it’s causing me to push away good things, especially pulling myself away from myself. Im not giving myself the chance to connect with people, experience love, delaying my progression with personal career and hobby interests, interacting with my family more, and other things that require myself to begin to live my life. All I’ve been doing lately is pulling away, or wanting to at least, but I’m not doing that completely, which is good, but I still feel completely unenthusiastic, uncomfortable, doubtful, fearful, and at times hopeless with my journey and myself. I just hope I can heal from this and get past this real event ocd trigger, but it’s hard to move on from something when you’re the one that did something unacceptable or just something you wouldn’t be proud of. I wish I can take it back, but I can’t and I have to move forward with my life, and idk how I did move on from this before all these years and why I’m all of a sudden extremely worried and can’t leave it alone. This is going to be hard to talk about more with my therapist and even face with myself, but I just hope that I’ll get past it, just like every other thing I’ve experienced with ocd and have beat before. I’m wishing everyone the best of luck through their journey with ocd. It does get easier and better, you just have to remain positive, hopeful, and put in the work to get the results you want. You will feel uncomfortable and distressed facing your compulsions, but it’s better to feel this way while working on limiting ocd then to feel these exact emotions while doing nothing to help your ocd. You won’t feel as uncomfortable or distressed if you keep doing the work to help yourself. Ocd will always be there to remind you of your fears and urges, but how we choose to approach it is what will help set us up to be happier and feel more hopeful, carrying more strength and belief in ourselves. Remember to except the maybe so’s and the maybe not’s of life and our individual experiences with ocd. You will get through this I believe in you all🫶🏻sending lots of love and healing🩷✨