Afraid i got someone pregnant

About 5 years ago, during my teens i had casual and sometimes unprotected sex with total strangers i met on dating apps and online. I don't even remember their names. I don't know how i could ever contact them since i never kept up contact with any of them, i also don't know how they would ever contact me since i cut contact years ago and literally have zero info about them and they probably have zero info about me. Long story short, since I can't exactly remember what happened in some of the encounters im afraid i maybe got someone pregnant and since i almost immediately cut off contact there was no way to know. Its been 5 yrs and this obsession hit me like a wrecking ball. Now im terrified i may have a kid out in the world that I don't know about, or at the very least that i got someone pregnant and never knew about it. This is eating me alive, help...

vicb773

Date posted: 2y

Hey I just want to remind you it’s going to be okay! This situation is complicated and there could be so many things I could say to you to try to soothe you and your worries but I don’t want to give into any compulsions of yours. I am a strong believer everything happens for a reason. And what’s yours will come to you naturally and you won’t have to grasp or fight it. The issue is the uncertainty of what if they got pregnant what if they knew didn’t know what if they didn’t tell me etc. no matter how much thought you put into it. The situation doesn’t change. Therefore it’s best to let this go for right now. If you have a long lost child out there someone with the advanced science medicine technology etc these days they could probably find you. Also the other party involved is equally responsible for potentially getting pregnant and what they may have chosen to do with that info you might never know. ( I know that’s scary) I’m sorry if this doesn’t help. But just trust that you will be okay. The fact that you care about this even though it’s an intrusive thought means you care about people and your past actions and mistakes.

Alex0729

Date posted: 2y

@vicb773 Thank you for your kind words, this kind just hit me at the worst possible time in my life. Im engaged and literally getting married in 2 months. She knows about my promiscuous past and has asked about me having any kids and ive been completely honest with her. But my brain now outta nowhere decided to latch onto this.

vicb773

Date posted: 2y

@Alex0729 Then just know you have done the right thing and all you can for right now and that’s enough!

Alex0729

Date posted: 2y

@vicb773 Thank you, i guess you're right. I appreciate your words specially coming from a woman which im assuming you are by your avatar. For some reason in my head i just assumed all women would think of me as a villain for what i did.

vicb773

Date posted: 2y

@Alex0729 Yes I am and you’re very welcome :) I’ve struggled a lot with being kind and forgiving with myself so I understand but genuinely everyone makes mistakes and I agree lean into the uncertainty and being okay with that because that’s truthfully all you can do and look forward to the future and be grateful you’re a changed person!

vicb773

Date posted: 2y

Any women who has casual sex with strangers is equally liable for any consequences that may come from that so take some of the pressure off yourself knowing that if the sex was consensual you didn’t just run away from a potential baby. You genuinely had no idea.

Alex0729

Date posted: 2y

@vicb773 Yes it was always consensual, also for most cases I remember wearing a condom or pulling out but for this one particular situation everything is just hazy and can't quite remember wether i did wear a condom or pull out. Plus me knowing that i was absolutely sexually immature and a total idiot doesn't really help. I literally never considered the consequences of having casual sex. I was so shortsighted and stupid. I put myself and every one of those woman at risk of so many things. My promiscuous life has brought me so many regrets in life i just wish I could go back.

vicb773

Date posted: 2y

@Alex0729 What matters is that you have grown and that’s life! We make mistakes and we learn and grow! So many people do not understand the importance and value of sex until it’s too late so you’re not alone . it’s okay. You have changed and turned your life around. This situation does not have any answers so just let it go and trust it will be okay. Focus on the positive like your fiancé and your marriage! How exciting!

Alex0729

Date posted: 2y

@vicb773 The situation really does have no answers, and i guess its the ultimate uncertainty i can lean into. Literally having to live not knowing and being ok with that. Thank you for your words and I'll definitely try to be more present in the now and in the exciting things in my life. Focusing on my morals and who i am now also helps a bit.

Pubbywomwom

Date posted: 2y

Lean into the uncertainty. Maybe you did maybe you didn’t.

0cdsucks

Date posted: 25w

i feel like i wasn’t aware enough before

im just now finding out more details about how csa permanently affects children and now im petrified of traumatizing a child to the point where i almost want to be castrated. i can’t stand the thought of ruining a child’s life like that. like what if someone lies about their age online or what if i accidentally traumatized a child and didn’t remember? what if i didn’t care enough about the effects of csa before? it’s to the point where i don’t even look forward to having a s*x life. for some reason it feels too risky even though i don’t have bad intentions.

Twilightprin...

Date posted: 24w

Some advice please- I feel like my life is falling

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

FoxMan

Date posted: 23w

Worried about something…again

Hey, so I wanted to ask about something that is trying to bother me right now. I just thought to come on here before letting my mind ruminate over and over and over. So a year ago when I was 22, I did not have many people to talk to aside from my roommates who were either not home during the summer or just to themselves so I decided to try out Omegle. I talked to a few different people on there, but there’s two people in particular that kind of made me worried. There is this one girl I was talking to from Canada and she told me the story about her and her friends smoking weed, and I told her about how my female roommate used to sleep in my bed. But the way I told her that was by asking for her Instagram so I could DM her that rather than say it out loud because my roommate was in the next room. At some point during our conversation, she told me that she was 16, and I’m not even sure how we came about that but she told me. Before I continue, we were not flirting at all. We were just sharing stories, that was it. My intention was to not flirt at all with anyone because of age and the fact that they probably nowhere near me. Also, I just kind of thought it would be weird too. But now I can’t remember if she told me her age before I told her about my roommate or after I told her about my roommate, but I feel like it was before because I kind of felt like I should’ve unfollowed her after. And what made it worse is that somehow my roommate saw her Instagram handle and followed her as well. Another instance was when this girl was being very goofy and playing the character and I was joking back and I ended up being invited into their Instagram group chat, where I found out they were also 16 so without saying anything, I left the group chat. So my worries if this was inappropriate or was it just a conversation that I probably should’ve cut short. I’m not sure but it’s starting to worry me. And just for context, I have no idea that girl or anybody else since that day and it NEVER went sexual at all. So yeah, that’s the story

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Afraid i got someone pregnant

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