Obsession with Satan

@Steven55! This is my most recent post, does this sound like ocd? “I’ve been dealing with the fear of schizophrenia for about 10 months now with symptoms varying from fear of hallucinations, constantly on the look out for negative symptoms such as flat affect, low mood etc. to now constantly having to fight off delusional intrusive thoughts. I feel it’s worth it to mention I am an atheist, secular humanist and realist and had/have very firm beliefs about reality that were evidence based and very grounded. Ever since this theme has started, these thoughts and feelings coupled with derealization have completely warped my mind and I’m constantly getting thoughts such as “the world is way too good and complex to be true, there must be something more at play here” “there must be something sinister at play here”“this must be some sort of demonic simulation” “there must be more to the world than just science and biology” “what if satan is the true creator of the world” “What if the government is working in accordance with Satan to keep up with this simulation” “Hollywood and media is definitely controlled by Satan” etc etc. just bizarre crazy shit. these thoughts feel very very convincing and it’s almost like I can put pieces together and see how it could be true despite there being no evidence for them. I’ve gotten to a point where I’m done fighting and don’t know what to believe. No amount of logic that I feed these thoughts will ever be enough. I feel like my case is different form most peoples with ocd, from what I’ve read, everybody with my kind of thoughts still have a meta awareness that there thoughts aren’t real and the world around them is very much real. Well I feel like everyday I’m losing that awareness more and more, moments of clarity are quite rare for me now. I feel like I am becoming convinced what I’m thinking is true and I’m getting thoughts and feelings like “how could I not see this before, this is all way too good to be true” and I don’t want that. It is scaring me that I am thinking this way. Like I said this is a COMPLETE 180 from the way I used to think. Please help. My mind has me convinced that there is no other way to think about it and I’m possibly just in denial about it”

@mrselfdestruct1994 - I'm not a trained therapist, but it sounds to like you're dealing with existential OCD, which is also a common theme. Also, the what-ifs are very common,. Do you have a trained OCD therapist, one who uses ERP therapy? If not, please consider getting one. NOCD can help you there. Many people with OCD tend to go from one theme to another, and sometimes suffer from multiple themes simultaneously. The ERP therapy can be a huge help, but it's important to have a trained coach in your corner, which is where the trained OCD therapist comes in. OCD doesn't work well with standard therapy; it's peculiar. Find someone specifically trained in OCD. The giveaway is if they use ERP therapy, which is the gold standard for OCD treatment. Hope this helps.

@mrselfdestruct1994 How are you now, have you conquered this?

No, it's just an OCD theme. OCD goes after what/who you most value and what you fear.

@Steven55! That makes me feel better, may I ask if you have any official diagnosis’s?because I have very very similar thoughts, and the crazy thing is, I’m an atheist! Yet it feels very real. Do you mind if I paste my most recent post in the comments here so you can read it and tell me if it sound similar to you?

@mrselfdestruct1994 Yes, I was diagnosed with OCD. The fact that it feels so real is classic OCD.