My dad and I got in a physical fight today. I was screaming in a panic attack, frustratedly yelling and he decided to spit at me (contamimation OCD so that was awful), it eventually escalated to the point where he hit me, choked me and kicked my leg. I peed myself from fear when this all happened onto the floor. My mom and sister had to restrain him from hitting me more. My leg still hurts hours after. I'm at my uncle's now as the crisis service did not think me staying there was a safe situation. I can't stop thinking about it. My relationship was great with my dad before I got OCD. But ever since it has gotten to this point. This is not the first time it has happened either. He promised last time it wouldn't happen again. I still love him and want to forgive him as we had a great relationship before OCD. I don't know how to cope with all this. I am trying to sleep but my leg hurts and it keeps reminding me of what happened today. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to trust him again... certaintly not while having a mental illness I feel like. I wish I could sleep but I just feel like crying.

That’s horrible! I’m so sorry this happened to you. Remember it’s okay to cry. It might actually make you feel better. I hope you’ll be able to have that good relationship with him again, but take one day at a time. Right now, you’re in a safe place❤️❤️

My God what happened to you was really awful and hard to endure. You are such a warrior. I agree with what they've told you: family is part of the therapy. Your dad could join you when you attend therapy. It's important to educate our loved ones, this disease is difficult to graps for those who don't suffer from it directly

Awww bless u my love. I feel so sad 4 u. I wud feel bad about my situation. My dad has schizophrenia. But he is ever do kind to us all. Never ever violent. When I was little my older brother was abusive. We stopped talking n that kept the peace. Just stop talking 2 ur dad 2 protect urself. It's good the police were called. U need 2 b safe hun. If u like we can talk over email. I have a lifetime experience of OCD. My OCD was sooooo bad. Now I can go swimming something I thought I cud never do due to contamination fears. N also a dog 2. Albeit against my will. But I love her so much. Also hun I think their is a link with OCD and schizophrenia. U need 2 be in a low stress environment. Keep a humble quiet life. Sometimes that's the only way. Trust me I tried going 4 a career, uni n job n all. But never worked out. We r homebodies. Thankfully with the internet we can do things from home. I love 2 listen and create ASMR vids on youtube. Maybe we can play online gaming 2gether. I have agoraphobic phases where I'm 2 paranoid n scared 2 go out. So wud b nice 2 have an online freind. What kinda games u like? I love all sorts like car race, ping pong and monopoly.

Hi... Be quite as you can... Do you met a psychologist for your ocd? Have your father ever came with you? If not yet, it's necessary that he will meet your psychologist... The family is also a part of the therapy. And maybe it's also a good moment for your father to realize what he did... Good luck

Grasp*

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Page 11 & 12 of this guide has some helpful tips for family members to help them understand ocd. Sending the very best your way. https://www.ktph.com.sg/uploads/1493878296A%20Handbook%20for%20Caregivers%20on%20OCD.pdf

Hello, sorry for the late reply to all of you, I went to bed after posting this. My dad's been very involved with therapy actually, it's just that his anger issues never get addressed. In fact, everyone denies them he has them in the first place and says it is all because of my OCD that he does this. And I know living with someone as severe as me is hard but at the same time... I almost feel blamed for being beaten honestly... because I have a disorder which I can't seem to get a grasp of. I've tried ERP on my own but never had a specialist guide me as they are either not available in the area or too expensive with online stuff as I don't have an income right now. The crisis service is the only help I get but they do not do ERP with me. I'm honestly so stressed being in another house right now, needing to use a different toilet (I have avoided it for 2 years), all of that... I just can't. I can't seem to sleep much either, I keep having nightmares of what happened, I wanna go home but at the same time I don't. Because my dad makes me feel unsafe. It's an awful feeling and I don't know how to cope with this on top of severe OCD. Even when I have literal bruises I'm being told to stop playing the victim and understand it is because of my actions (crying, yelling out of frustrations because I am beyond stressed from doing compulsions and stopping them also stresses me so I feel trapped whenever I want and need some rest) that he hurt me. I don't know if I can forgive them. If we were not a good family prior to OCD I would've cut ties with him for sure but now I don't know what to feel or do. I just feel depressed and I wish I could sleep and never wake up in this living hell again.