- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Scared I don’t actually have OCD
Anyone else scared that they don’t actually have OCD, and their relationship is doomed?
Anyone else scared that they don’t actually have OCD, and their relationship is doomed?
Honestly the "maybe I don't have ocd" thought is such a common intrusive thought. I try to view it this way: might as well treat it like OCD if it's similar to it. No matter what, therapy, guidance, and working at obsessive feelings or thoughts, can't hurt. ERP helps with things you're scared with, not just OCD. On my worst days, I also just try to answer this question: "Regardless of what thoughts I'm having right now, whether they are true or not, whether it's ocd or not, am I willing to stay in and work on this relationship?" That way I make the active decision to stay with my partner regardless. Making this "decision" helped a lot in the long run.
Yes, and I know I have strange circular Intrusive thoughts then panic that will doom my relationship… I always think I am the problem, they are better without me. Then my mind will clear no thoughts and I feel fine, just doomed to never have a meaningful healthy relationship, like I am not allowed to.
@tdb138 Exactly! Like they deserve better! I feel weird because I never have felt these kind of doubts before in a relationship before. But then again, no one really has committed to me the way he has though. It’s very confusing.
@songbird1 Currently I am working 2K miles away from him.he says don’t worry “I love you” I’m like how can you I’m broken
@tdb138 My bf and I live together, and it’s really hard with my thoughts. Are you thinking about getting treatment?
@songbird1 I currently have a therapist that I see… but I didn’t realize that the thoughts I have .. others have them too- I have been afraid to tell my therapist many of the thoughts. But, I am thinking that I might be able to express them now. If I do not, I fear that I will destroy the first healthy relationship I have had. I can literally drive myself into the ground obsessively thinking and worrying.
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@Kingkj2 @Kingkj2 I work in an environment with numerous types of psychiatric disorders… I obsess about imposter syndrome very often… what if they realize I’m just like them? That I’m a fraud .. or am I really like them? Fear fear fear I’ve been in this profession for 10 years and I keep expecting any day that they will burst through and find out I’m a fake…. Repeat , obsess, over compensate …I would love to one day go to work and feel like I know what I’m doing and belong
@Kingkj2 Same!
@Kingkj2 I always feel like I am in denial about my thoughts and that maybe I am “settling” in my relationship and that it is doomed to fail
Same here on the worrying and obsessive front!
@Kingkj2 Trauma/ER/Psychiatric ER with a lock down unit
i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
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