hello friends! anyone here have experience with backdoor spike? does this mean i’m on the road to recovery from OCD? fingers crossed this means things are going back to normal and the OCD is making its way out. any words is appreciated! keep fighting all 🫶🏻
A backdoor spike is a phrase we use to explain that sometimes when you start to have less intrusive thoughts or the thoughts change in some way, which makes you think "Well you aren't anxious so that must mean you like them". This is just another one of those nasty tricks that OCD plays every once in a while, another way that it keeps you trapped and stuck. It's okay to be aware of having thoughts like this but try not to hone in and pay too much attention to them, try not to engage with them or answer their questions. I know this is so much easier said than done but give it a try and let us know how it goes.
@Stacy Quick thanks so much stacy! do you think i could be experiencing this as a sign of my new medication/therapy being successful?
Hi jacksonvbarnes, I am not sure that I have definitely experienced what you're referring to, and it could be a great sign for you. However I think regardless of what it means - there is ALWAYS hope (for you, me, and every OCD sufferer)! Based on my experience - regardless of how much I progress in recovery, there are "good" days with my symptoms and harder days with my symptoms. That being said, while I can't control my OCD symptoms or how present they are, I CAN control my effort in treatment and strengthen my ability to live according to my values despite what my OCD feels like or tells me what to do. And there's freedom in that. While I may always struggle with OCD in some capacity and never be 100% "free of it," I can control my response to it and grow in my ability to tolerate OCD with the help of ERP (and for some folks, medication too). Therefore, as long as you're doing your best in treatment to manage your OCD symptoms, you're ALREADY on the road to recovery - even if that road is still difficult on some days and easier on other days. Godspeed on your recovery - there is always hope! You got this!
@thereishope:) thanks so much! i’m on week 4 of medication (zoloft) and my second week of ERP. your words have truly inspired me and helped me to feel better during this time. it’s so freeing to finally have a few good days and feel like yourself again, after going for soooo long feeling mentally stuck. while i’m left with some intrusive thoughts, i no longer feel like it has a hold of me. sometimes i just worry because the thoughts no longer make me anxious. i guess that means i’m growing and overcoming. godspeed friend!
Yes I've recently been dealing with this, it's been getting better which is making me anxious when i think about it 😂
@Anonymous.12345 we are getting there! the light is finally shining at the end of the tunnel. hang in there friend! we can push through.
I’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else… I’m 28 years old. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was very young and it took a while, but I overcame it. I haven’t had any compulsions in 20 years. I’ve had some horrible things happen in the past, but nothing brought back my OCD. The only thing I struggle with is overthinking and making decisions. Im about to take a sabbatical from my work for a year to travel because the last year of my life has been by far the happiest and most confident iv ever been. I went to see a therapist a couple weeks ago who was an OCD specialist, I just wanted some tips and tricks for decision-making while I’m on my trip. She warned me that my OCD might get worse before it gets better, but I thought that she just meant with decision-making and overthinking. They have this program set out that I didn’t really wanna do but she told me it works really well so I decided to try it. It’s two sessions a week and the first two sessions were sort of just talking about my old OCD and doing questionnaires. I really related to some of the questionnaire questions, and the therapist was actively telling me that I definitely had OCD the whole time which made me feel bad. After our second session, my OCD came back full swing like when I was a child. I cant stop thinking about doing compulsions every waking second. It’s been two weeks. I’ve been to her several times and nothing is helping, I’m resisting the urge to do compulsions as much as I can and I feel like I’m fighting for my life. Nothing is helping and I’m burning out. I wake up and cry everyday because of how uncomfortable and out of control I feel. I never thought this would happen and im so mad at myself for ruining my trip. I feel like I’ve ruined my life tbh and even if I do get better, I’m always gonna be bothered by the constant fear that even at the highest and most happy points in my life it could just come back at any second with no warning signs.. I thought I knew how to deal with it and had the tools, but nothing is working this time and its ruining my life. Today I asked about cancelling my trip altogether, and I might be going on medical leave. Has this happened to anybody and do you have any tips for me?
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
Hey guys, I hope you’re well! My names Matt, and OCD has struck me again 😂 When I was 10 years old I had to attend therapy as I was having excessive intrusive thoughts. P.s. I didn’t even know this was possible at the age of 10! I then completely forgot about it, until 2.5 years ago when I started experiencing ROCD. I really couldn’t understand why I was feeling/thinking this way however, I soon after remembered my struggles as a child and then realised my OCD had returned. Also, my mum has serious OCD so I guess that could be why too. I had a a really hard battle with my emotions and mood due to this however, the last 1.5 years had been really good and I managed it well. I got married and had the best day of my life. 3 months ago, a thought about having an affair in my head appeared, and BOOM, it’s back again. I’m struggling a lot right now however, I’ve accepted that this could be a re occurring theme throughout my life, and it’s time to learn to deal with it again. I’m back on medication and have started ERP therapy, so hopefully it’s on the up from here. I’m not here to list off my triggers and thoughts as this would be me seeking reassurance however, I’m here to show that recovery is certainly possible!
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
