Ugh ocd takes over me

Today is Father's Day as you know and my baby daddy, 2 babies and I are going to another city right near us to celebrate with another family that we know. My anexity is thru the roof and I'm just so scared to go. My ocd takes over me 24/7 but especially when I'm in public, around people or in a different place. I just don't want my ocd to take over me and prevent me from being present and I don't want my compulsions to get so serve that I'm just living in my head. It's so hard for me to enjoy life and doing normal things that normal people are able to do and enjoy. I just needed to get that off my chest. I know today isn't about me but it's so difficult to put my mental issues aside and be there for someone else if that makes any sense. I feel like a have a 30 pound weight on my chest. I also just got in a fight with some girl at Starbucks cuz she wouldn't make my drink how I asked (I work at Starbucks too) and I know my drink can be made the way I ask for it to be made. I let my emotions come over me and I started yelling and cursing at her with my kids in the car. Now I just feel so down and so so guilty that I acted that way and let something so small effect me, my mood, and my feelings so much. Ughhhh I just keep praying over and over but god is also part of my ocd so praying just enables my ocd to take over me even more. I really hope someone can relate to me or has advice for me. #help

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

All shall be well...:-)

urbanmole74

Date posted: 2y

I can totally relate and sometimes it's ok to let out a little anger, obviously not at the detriment of other, but yeah sometimes s**t happens. I struggle being out in public, going into shops to the point my OCD is now telling me that it's because of him or it's because of her. The fear and anxiety of just walking down the street at times is unbelievable. No reason, just OCD being a b****. We must soldiers on. I've been listening to an audio book called "Brain Lock" which is of great help and has given me a deeper insight into OCD and helpful ways of dealing with it. Follow you heart.

Claire F.

Date posted: 2y

@urbanmole74 Thank you so much for replying!! It makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone even though we are both going thru it 😒😩 thank you for the recommendation I will definitely look into that audio book!!!! ❤️

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Are you seeing a trained OCD therapist?

Claire F.

Date posted: 2y

I saw one thru NOCD but she didn't know what do to with me and thought I needed someone who's been doing epr way longer than her so after a couple days after my first session she found me a new therapist but my apt isn't till the 27 so I've just been waiting 🤦🏽‍♀️

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Until you begin therapy, just try and tell yourself it's all OCD, not you, not your character. It's malware in our brains which can be straightened out with therapy. Try to get some exercise, too. I find it helps. Stay in the present--what are you doing or not doing NOW, what's happening NOW, rather than what-if. Things will be better, once you find the right therapist. If you don't like your new one, I can recommend mine, Judy Lair, who's terrific. Hope this helps. One other thing: if at times you need a heart to hang onto, you know where to find us.

Claire F.

Date posted: 2y

@Steven55! Thank you so much for your kind words and your recommendations! I really really appreciate it!!

your strong

Date posted: 22w

Can you relate?

Hi this my first time ever hearing about this app n i downloaded it because lately my ocd been really bad and I feel I can’t have control over it it scares me because I sometimes hurt people around me when I don’t mean to for example my bf everytime something goes well my head just starts spinning in circles with bad thoughts n wanting to ruin stuff with him lowkey I messed up big times bc I let this time my thoughts win me over n took everything off on him without thinking n realizing how bad I had affected him it kills me because everytime I think im jus a weak person bc I always let everything get to me I’m jus so scared because now my head jus tells me your not good enough your gonna lose him this literally jus happens when something positive comes in my head or something good happens always jus wanna ruin it I hate it because I always believe my thoughts instead of him not because I don’t want to but because also of my past n trauma jus fucks it even more from the deep of my heart i believe him but my head reacts differently n lets it out n now am in the situation of knowing I can lose him any minute now even tho am putting my faith in god n trying my hardest to think positive n be better everyday I’m really trying but w ocd it’s so hard n jus get scared n let my thoughts get to me😞 idk what to do anymore

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

Aprilshowers...

Date posted: 17w

My OCD

Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.

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Ugh ocd takes over me

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