I keep questioning if i like my partner and daugther? And if i like anything i used to love… its like i can’t feel joy when im being with the ones i love anymore??? Is this normal ocd??
I feel like this with my partner. Like I am the one responsible for sucking all joy out of the relationship. Instead of doing things to make things better I just freeze and become quiet. When I get like this I need activities to distract me that don't require much effort e.g. going to the cinema together or meeting with friends for a bit. It's not a cure, but it stops things from getting worse and gives me necessary time to see things a bit clearer.
@TheBeachFromHere But what is it? Ocd compulsive feelings?
@Ohhnocd - I have relationship OCD so we could be celebrating my birthday and instead of enjoying the moment I am crippled by intrusive thoughts about my partner. Which in turn makes me feel sad and she can't understand why I am unhappy when it's supposed to be a happy moment. This makes me feel guilty and I spiral from there. It's the constant mental checking or "reassurance trap" that gives me sadness and exhaustion. Am I attracted to her? Would I be happier with someone else? The need to know 100% for sure. I'm still in therapy so I don't get it right all the time. CBT has been useful. Also the book "Needing to know for sure" was a great comfort as I could read examples of other people that had similar thinking patterns. The most helpful thing for me has been to remind myself that OCD is a disorder. From there you can start to be kinder to yourself.
You're probably just depressed. Depression on top of OCD is an entirely different can of worms. You still need ERP to deal with the feelings overall, but you may need help breaking through feeling flatlined. If you can summon the energy, do the opposite of what your brain is telling you to do. Go outside and do vigorous exercis.
@Asdfjklz Ever since i got ocd i felt this way… so i don’t think i have a depression… but sure it can be
@Asdfjklz Its mostly in the morning
@Ohhnocd I also get that in the morning. In fact, I often feel my worst in the morning. I think it has to do with Cortisol adding to the problem. But this seems like textbook OCD. You will lose interest in the things you like, sometimes you'll even feel disgust for them and that's OCD trying to drive you away from a healthy outlet to "save" you.
@Asdfjklz Why would ocd try to drive me away from it? Just to make me sad?
@Ohhnocd It's usually a personal reason for each person. One example is that socializing with a really anxious or depressed person is bound to be a completely different quality of conversation than if you were to converse with someone who feels fine. It sounds like it's a defense mechanism. Maybe subconsciously you don't want certain people to see you at your lowest so your brain feels the need to avoid them. You would have a better idea than any of us what your case is.
Yes. Ocd can make you feel everything you don’t want
Its not the relationship it’s OCD. ERP is the only thing that’s worked for me.
@Honeyshark How do i erp… cant feel stuff in my relationship? And can feel joy often?
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
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