- Date posted
- 2y
Parenthood
Me and my partner are sorta trying for a child but I'm really worried I'll end up giving them this disorder. Am I being irrational? Are there any parents who could chime in and give me advice?
Me and my partner are sorta trying for a child but I'm really worried I'll end up giving them this disorder. Am I being irrational? Are there any parents who could chime in and give me advice?
Maybe your kid will wind up with ocd, maybe not. Good news is if you’re aware that you have it, you’ll know what to look out for if your child develops symptoms so you can get them help earlier on.
True !!
You know... I'm surprised OCD hasn't picked up on it yet. It's crazy because I can see it in one of my parents and even my siblings. I can't really convince them to get tested but that's a good point, I'd be the caretaker and I'd know already.
@JazzCrab Absolutely what I was thinking! I suffered into adulthood before receiving help.
your concerns are valid. from what i understand, OCD itself isn’t necessarily genetic, but anxiety can be. i am the product of generations of anxiety disorders — from PTSD, GAD, and OCD. i have your same concerns. my advice would be to just check in with yourself further down the line and see if the concerns are still there. the thought of someone i love going through what i go through…i couldn’t take it. so, if there’s even a chance, i’m not risking it. not a huge loss though — i didn’t exactly win big in the genetic lottery. but, it’s a personal decision, between you and your partner. if you go to therapy, i would also try voicing these concerns to your therapist. they might be able to help you work through your concerns and understand them better
Spoke with my shrink about it and they told me to never let it get in the way of the experience. It's still hard for me to take that advice because of how bad my bad days get.
@Asdfjklz if they said that, i support them and you 100%. they’re right, don’t let OCD steal that joy from you. it will all turn out just fine, keep reaching out for help and doing the hard work. i’m rooting for you!
I just gave birth to my first child a little less then 6 months ago, obviously it’s way too early to know if he will have ocd but I definitely will make it known to him that it’s okay to have difficult thoughts and feelings and strategies to work through them! I’ve had ocd symptoms since I was a child and I think if you learn tools young it can really help to change the way you deal with your thoughts. I would suggest really really taking care of your mental health during and after pregnancy I’ve had almost debilitating anxiety since my son was born and it’s been extremely difficult. I wish I would have sought out help and worked on myself sooner so that I could get the most out of this time.
Is there less than a 50 percent chance developing it?
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
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