I have been stuck in rumination for the past several hours, and I feel at a dead end. Can good people, unintentionally, do bad things and still be considered good? I handled a situation with a little less grace than I would have liked to, and now I feel like a monster. It was such a small moment- but it has ruined my day. Any advice?
Instead of seeking reassurance, I suggest taking this moment to do self ERP: -Read this article about ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -Read The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd
@Nica Thank you for linking me to these articles, I read them both! I had never heard of scripting before, and I like that very much. I will definitely be using these. Thank you thank you!
@Rabies.MP3 You’re welcome!
In therapy you learn that there is no such things as "good' or "bad" people, only good and bad actions. You are not defined by your thoughts, feelings, and actions. People are simply people. We're all human and as humans we do things we aren't proud of sometimes. The fact of the matter is, no one is perfect.
I truly feel for you, this can be such a difficult illness, OCD. It can definitely keep someone thinking and thinking- ruminating on questions like these. I think I would caution you not to go down that rabbit hole of trying to find an 'answer'. The unfortunate truth is that there will always be more questions when you have OCD. Answering one may temporarily feel really good and bring about relief- but there will be more. We must teach the OCD that there is no 'real' danger. It is just a thought. Easier said than done, I do know. Check out this- https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/is-reassurance-seeking-good-or-bad-for-ocd of course, I HIGHLY recommend ERP by an OCD specialist if you have not done this previously, this is therapy that is most recommended for OCD-Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler
Hey, thank you for sharing. Ruminating only keeps the OCD alive and that cycle to continue. Maybe you did a really bad thing, maybe you didn’t. There’s nothing there for you to figure out, accepting that uncertainty allows a break in the cycle and for you to gain control again. Don’t try and seek reassurance or go over it your in head as you’ll never figure it out and what is done is done now it’s time to move on. It’s hard at times and takes a lot of willpower and strength but you’ve got this. OCD thrives on doubt and anything you hold dearly such as being a good person. Mix them both together and the little OCD devil is having a field day. You’ve got this friend and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Have you had ERP therapy before ?
@Billy 1 Thank you for taking the time to respond, I greatly appreciate your input. I have never had ERP therapy before. I have been in talk therapy for the past five months now- I will have to ask about it at my next session. Thank you!!
I don’t expect anyone to give me any reassurance that I’m a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I don’t want to fight anymore, I can’t do it. I’m a bad person. I can’t see the light anymore I don’t think I can get better from this anymore, I think I’m gonna give up, I’m actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof I’m a bad person, I thought about it so I just can’t. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I don’t know why I did this cause I know it’s wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like “do you think he’s handsome” and I said “maybe I don’t know, I don’t think he’s handsome. He might be” and oh my god I can’t believe I said something like this, I know some will say “oh it might be intrusive” but I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m done. I don’t even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I can’t stand it, I can’t do this anymore
A good life, success, healing, beautiful things? ⚠️ Important: please don’t read if this is triggering. No one should think this way about themselves, of course you deserve it all. I struggle with real events and harm OCD. My worst fear is being a bad person, causing harm or doing the wrong thing. These thoughts haunt me all the time and cause me to essentially throw my life away. I don’t go out, pursue opportunities, etc. because what if I don’t deserve them? I think of the worst things I’ve ever done all the time. The things that I’m most ashamed of. Like a broken record that’s all I replay in my head. Doesn’t matter if it was 5 or 10 years ago. And I beat myself up for not doing better. And I just don’t know how to move past it. I’ve read a lot of quotes and books about self help and love and acceptance (e.g. once you know better, do better). But for me I feel like I have to hate myself forever. I won’t ever get a clean slate, there’s a permanent stain on my record. I just can’t forgive myself, whether other people know it or not, I can’t allow myself to move forward. It’s about integrity for me. Does anyone relate? How do you do it? I’m so sorry if you’re also struggling. I don’t wish this for anyone. Please keep fighting, you’re not alone. ❤️
Does anyone have harm OCD related to recent events? Like events that just happened or happened not long ago? I feel like my OCD is trying to find something bad/immoral I could have done in nearly every situation that I am experiencing, for example “Did you just do that?”. And I constantly want to check, ask people for reassurance, try to find a logic answer by going it though in my head,… It’s many different themes but all related to doing sth bad/immoral (e.g., touching someone inappropriately, pushing someone in front of a vehicle, putting something in a drink/food). Does anyone have the same? Or the other thing that I experienced recently is that I did something (a rather unimportant action, not harming anyone) and I go over and over it and ask myself “why did you do that? What does that say about you? Are you actually a weird person?” It feels like I draw “false conclusions” from a real event… I don’t know if that’s OCD though or not. Just wondering if anyone has experienced the same. Good luck to you all! We’re not alone in this! 😊
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