For any girl dealing w/ HOCD do you find it hard to gain crushes on men? And if so why? I feel like it’s even harder for me because most men aren’t the best in relationships 😭 I’m struggling with trusting overall attraction to men. Also have any of you felt attracted to women? And if so how did that feel? Just wanted to hear any relevant input
I found it very difficult to have crushes on men especially in the beginning bc of all the anxiety and stress I was experiencing. Now that I’m managing it, I’m starting to feel my attraction coming back. I did have some false attraction to women, but those feelings weren’t the same as I had for men ofc.
@erikataylor I feel you 100%. I’m currently talking to a guy and I feel so bad about it bc i’m overwhelmed rn as i haven’t dated anyone since high school. It took nearly a year to manage my symptoms and that’s when I started getting my attraction back. But it’s been kinda on and off lately. I started managing my anxiety by meditating (EFT meditation works wonders), engaging in simulating activities (sketching, reading, etc), getting outside, and doing one exposure a day—but be careful if you do this if you’re not in a good place rn. If you need resources let me know <3
@erikataylor That’s okay, we all start somewhere so don’t worry. Making small changes everyday for just a few minutes can make the biggest difference in your recovery. You will get through this. Here are some resources you may find helpful: https://apps.apple.com/app/id337472899 https://homewoodhealth.com/corporate/blog/relaxation-techniques-to-deal-with-stress https://cedar.exeter.ac.uk/media/universityofexeter/schoolofpsychology/cedar/documents/liiapt/OCDSelf_Help_Workbook.pdf https://stellasplace.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Tolerance-for-Uncertainty-a-COVID-19-Workbook.pdf
Mine came back about year after entering a serious relationship so the crush thing isn’t quite relevant to me but I deff feel less need to impress guys or feel cute around them then I did before. Also on the attraction thing, I suffer a lot with that. I have a hard time distinguishing false attraction vs real but I know that when it’s a women I feel anxious and not happy and giddy like I did with make crushes
@erikataylor I think I got anxious around my crushes but more in an excited idk what to do nervous but w/ women it just fills me w/ dread if that makes sense
Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻
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