i’ve been dealing with false attraction towards someone for over a month now. however, this past week it feels even realer than it did before. like it feels like i enjoy/want it and i’m starting to get all the symptoms of having a crush. however, i still get anxious. is this what ocd does or did it just stop being intrusive?
I think it’s normal. I’m going through the exact same thing, but instead of ruminating for hours, I just let it pass and try not to engage in mental compulsions. Obviously I don’t succeed a lot but I’ll get there. What scares me is I see an attractive woman and get groinals, and sometimes imagine myself having sex with her and I enjoy it, but then I feel disgusted with myself because I don’t wanna be bisexual you know? (Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just not for me) I think OCD is very powerful and can convince you of a LOT of things, when they’re not true. They don’t represent your actual beliefs, more of a reason to not listen to it. Example: if I enjoy a thought about murdering someone, I must be a murderer. FALSE. Actions define you, not your thoughts. Same here, if I enjoy a thought with the same sex, I must be gay. FALSE. If you don’t wanna act on it or plan to, then you’re not gay. Fantasies are just fantasies. I may have a very dark or violent fantasy but it doesn’t mean I wanna do it in real life, our minds just work in complex ways. Science hasn’t gone too far to explain why our brain is the way it is, so sometimes things don’t have an explanation and that’s ok. Sitting with the discomfort of “I will never find the exact answer I’m looking for” is the best thing we can do, unfortunately.
I mean yeah you're right. I struggle to believe that many people would actually act on half the porn and hentai themes. Likewise, I've read some of the popular erotic fiction enjoyed by women - I struggle to believe many women *really* want to be ravished by a werewolf or whatever, lol. And yes it would make sense that these things feel real. If they didn't, then people with other OCD themes like say, locking doors, would continue to doubt themselves.
@polishgirl Dude I have the same thoughts but what really helps me is my faith. I would highly recommend you look into that if you’re religious. If not, keep hanging in there and just remember you don’t have to be something you don’t wanna be. You define yourself however you want to and if being gay/calling yourself gay doesn’t feel right to you, then it’s probably because you’re not gay. Take it easy and keep hanging in there. I hope you feel better or that I helped a little bit at least!
it was so obviously intrusive until like last week and i’m rly scared
Honestly, this is where the difficulty comes with this. When I suffered with HOCD before, I only beat it by basically saying to myself, sod it. I'll stop caring until the day when I actually want to act on these thoughts. Took ages but slowly it went away. Now i have young kids and a wife though. The stakes are way different. It's not like I can just be like 'oh whoopsy'. It affects our whole families. Every single bit of advice I've seen basically says, stop reacting, stop caring. But everytime I stop reacting to it I get a huge anxiety spike about me basically being a complete a**hole to my family.
hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible
Can anyone give their experience on FALSE ATTRACTION? At this moment, mine has become worse. Soon as I see a male my anxiety shoots up, I can feel this in my chest and my OCD is telling me I’m attracted. But I continue to look back or stare and the disgust comes over me and my body shakes and I feel my face screw up. I can’t listen to music I use too or watch movies which was a favourite thing of mine to do. I just feel disgusted and not who I am when it happens. It’s like a different me. P.S. I had a very good week few days ago where I knew this wasn’t me and these feelings/ thoughts isn’t me.
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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