- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah if we were actually what our ocd was trying to tell us I don’t think we would be so confused. Like we would accept that and move on with our lives. It wouldn’t be so debilitating and make us so sad if it was true. Also I did see someone on here who said she was bisexual and she finally figured it out. But she explained that she’s had ocd all her life and she thought what was going on was ocd, but she didn’t worry about it like everyone else. She said she always kind of liked girls, so she’s different from us??♀️
- Date posted
- 6y
But people with hocd that come out dont make sense (unless they come out as bi or gay with the purpose to get their old selves back and to realise hocd really was them lying to themselves) to me because thats litteraly their biggest fear. Hocd aint hocd if ur acc gay or coming out.. idk if thats just me who feels like this
- Date posted
- 6y
I also feel the same as you. I wasn’t clear enough in my response. I just don’t want the rest of us to get spiked by other people who chose to do so. If they are open to that then that’s on them and whether they have HOCD or not is questionable but not our problem. It’s all very confusing. I just worry that if they really have HOCD then what would be preventing all of us from just “coming out” like you can’t just come out when you don’t really want that. That would be nothing to do with sexuality. When I feel like it’s so real, I always come back to the fact that I don’t want that, therefore that would prevent me from coming out as anything other than straight no matter how confused ocd makes me.
- Date posted
- 6y
"testing" by "coming out" is nothing more than a compulsion. You try do that and maybe get some instant relief because you realise "oh maybe I'm not gay" and then in a few days you'll start thinking "how did I really feel when I came out?" Or "maybe I secretly liked it. Let me test again to see how I feel". You can never defeat OCD by doing what it tells you to do or feeding into the theme that you have. Stop testing, stop analysing, stop reading stories about gay people or people with HOCD who "came out". OCD is all the same regardless of theme, read about OCD recovery techniques, watch OCD YouTubers like Ali Greymond and employ the techniques they lay out. Reading about HOCD is a compulsion at this point.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for the advice
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh i see, thats very kind of you to post so you can stop other people from feeling trigggered by people saying they came out! I get what youre saying tho. Personally ive never seen someone coming out that has hocd. But i did hear people coming out as bi or gay but jusr so that they can clear things up, they use it as exposure therapy u know. But i know that all those people told that it acrually didnt help and that they still were just as confused as they were when they identified as straight. Its like imagine this all going away and feeling a big relieve when you tell people your gay. Like thats impossible. If u were really gay you would feel a big relieve and you would get the old you back but thats not possible like all the sadness in us is created by hocd. So if we were to come out now it would change us at all, we would still be sad. We wouldnt suddenly feel joy and happyness again right. So people who suffer from hocd come out to basically test if they get their old selves and happyness vack if they come out but that never worked for anybody as far as i know lol.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ahhh ok you have cleared things up for me too, that totally makes sense. This is why this app is useful!
- Date posted
- 6y
Mmmmm interesting
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- Date posted
- 6w
Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help
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