- Username
- chels
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- crazyfeelings crazyfeelings
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah if we were actually what our ocd was trying to tell us I don’t think we would be so confused. Like we would accept that and move on with our lives. It wouldn’t be so debilitating and make us so sad if it was true. Also I did see someone on here who said she was bisexual and she finally figured it out. But she explained that she’s had ocd all her life and she thought what was going on was ocd, but she didn’t worry about it like everyone else. She said she always kind of liked girls, so she’s different from us??♀️
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But people with hocd that come out dont make sense (unless they come out as bi or gay with the purpose to get their old selves back and to realise hocd really was them lying to themselves) to me because thats litteraly their biggest fear. Hocd aint hocd if ur acc gay or coming out.. idk if thats just me who feels like this
- Username
- chels chels
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I also feel the same as you. I wasn’t clear enough in my response. I just don’t want the rest of us to get spiked by other people who chose to do so. If they are open to that then that’s on them and whether they have HOCD or not is questionable but not our problem. It’s all very confusing. I just worry that if they really have HOCD then what would be preventing all of us from just “coming out” like you can’t just come out when you don’t really want that. That would be nothing to do with sexuality. When I feel like it’s so real, I always come back to the fact that I don’t want that, therefore that would prevent me from coming out as anything other than straight no matter how confused ocd makes me.
- Username
- CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 5y ago
"testing" by "coming out" is nothing more than a compulsion. You try do that and maybe get some instant relief because you realise "oh maybe I'm not gay" and then in a few days you'll start thinking "how did I really feel when I came out?" Or "maybe I secretly liked it. Let me test again to see how I feel". You can never defeat OCD by doing what it tells you to do or feeding into the theme that you have. Stop testing, stop analysing, stop reading stories about gay people or people with HOCD who "came out". OCD is all the same regardless of theme, read about OCD recovery techniques, watch OCD YouTubers like Ali Greymond and employ the techniques they lay out. Reading about HOCD is a compulsion at this point.
- Username
- chels chels
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you for the advice
- Username
- hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh i see, thats very kind of you to post so you can stop other people from feeling trigggered by people saying they came out! I get what youre saying tho. Personally ive never seen someone coming out that has hocd. But i did hear people coming out as bi or gay but jusr so that they can clear things up, they use it as exposure therapy u know. But i know that all those people told that it acrually didnt help and that they still were just as confused as they were when they identified as straight. Its like imagine this all going away and feeling a big relieve when you tell people your gay. Like thats impossible. If u were really gay you would feel a big relieve and you would get the old you back but thats not possible like all the sadness in us is created by hocd. So if we were to come out now it would change us at all, we would still be sad. We wouldnt suddenly feel joy and happyness again right. So people who suffer from hocd come out to basically test if they get their old selves and happyness vack if they come out but that never worked for anybody as far as i know lol.
- Username
- chels chels
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ahhh ok you have cleared things up for me too, that totally makes sense. This is why this app is useful!
- Username
- chels chels
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Mmmmm interesting
Related posts
- Username
- Gay
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s ridiculous how much people discussing HOCD bothers me. I know it’s a form of OCD, which I understand is out of the person’s control. I know mental illness is not a choice. I have OCD, so I get it. I get invasive thoughts about being hetero, so it makes sense that it works the other way too. I know the people who have HOCD aren’t necessarily homophobic. It does kind of make me feel like my sexuality is a worst case scenario, though. I can’t help but think “people are as afraid of being like me, as I am of heart attacks”. Idk. It just almost feels like people are saying “oh no what if I’m gay” “don’t worry, you’re straight. You’re okay because you’re straight” (which I know isn’t the case). It could just be because of the lack of positivity I’ve seen surrounding the queer community lately, though. I’m not trying to call out or invalidate people with HOCD though, I know it’s something that they don’t enjoy, and it’s something they suffer with just as much as I suffer with my OCD. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest
- Username
- garden
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okkk! So basically, part of me has accepted that I might be bi, and I’m ok with that because it’s not the worse thing ever. A few of my friends are bi, and being bi ultimately means I can love a wider range of people, which is great. So I don’t mind if I am. However I really really don’t wanna be a lesbian, and today I’ve had thoughts about being one. I’ve suddenly loss all attraction to guys which sucks. I feel like this is HOCD, but how do I know for sure if I don’t mind being bi?
- Username
- leham
- Date posted
- 5y ago
A little clarification on my (and many others’) experience with HOCD. Yes, “I don’t care what my sexuality is, I just wanna know for sure” makes the case for HOCD stronger and more ‘qualified’ sounding- however that is not the only HOCD can manifest. Saying that, can trigger some HOCD sufferers who are simply weary of identifying as lgbtq (an understandable fear). Do NOT get me wrong however. I would do ANYTHING for my friends who are bi and gay. I love them SO dearly and will fight for them for forever. Lgbtq folk who struggle with their identities, and not being loved by the people who are supposed to love them no matter what- INSPIRE me with their resilience. Their strength. Their confidence to live out who they are to the fullest extent. I watched the movie Love, Simon and cried like a baby, and am incredibly excited that Pete Buttigieg is the USA’s first openly gay presidential candidate. However this does not discount the struggles that many lgbtq people face. So many are not accepted by their families, have extremely difficult life transitions, and agonize over coming out. These are not things that people willingly want to go through. Is is completely unreasonable for someone suffering with HOCD to also fear these things? As an example (I’m black)- there is a difference in saying that you wouldn’t want to be black because you believe we are less than, versus saying that you wouldn’t want to struggle with the same things that we do. Just because you understand the trials and tribulations that black people go through in this country and would not want that for yourself, does NOT mean you are racist. It simply means you understand that there is pain. And no human willingly wants pain. Although these are exact things lgbtq people have to deal with (making HOCD distinctly different from most other pure o themes because it becomes impossible to differentiate us from people actually struggling with their identity) it shouldn’t be ignored that HOCD sufferers fear them too! Why wouldn’t we? This is such a deep rooted issue for sufferers because, where you could say someone who is suffering with POCD would never hurt a child simply because their thoughts horrify them (and a real pedophile wouldn’t be scared of their thoughts) you can’t say the same for HOCD. For some of us HOCD people who have these specific fears, it’s even more difficult to trust that what we have is ocd and it’s even more difficult to explain to someone else that what we have is ocd. I’ve had different themes of OCD throughout my life and the obsessive and compulsive behaviors have been the same, but this one makes me feel like I don’t even get to qualify. What a mind-fuck for us, huh? Also understand, this definitely isn’t my only fear. I have been attracted to, day-dreamed about, and desperately wanted to be with one gender my entire life. Having a husband was something I’ve wanted for so very long. It IS a part of who I am and what I want. It’s distressing to think this could all be lost one day. To have these ‘dreams’ stolen by obsessive thoughts, and be made to believe that it was all a lie- is just as hard to deal with as any other form of ocd. When I envision the life that ocd is telling me I “actually” want- I’m filled with sadness. How do any of the rest of you deal with your ocd telling you that you want (or want to do) something- that you actually don’t? I know this can be controversial, and truly truly hope I do not offend anyone- lgbtq friends, I truly do love you. I just want everyone to know that what we can struggle with within each theme, can be very different- but none are any less important or qualified than the others. If you truly disagree and want to share, please be kind. I am just as fragile as a lot of us on here. I’m suffering too.
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