I can’t stop crying

I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.

I was sleeping after a very long stressful week at work and life but lately i was worried about myself cause I don't feel bad anymore just numb, I thought I was living and it's fine but I woke up now with jumble of different bad intrusive thoughts that it makes me feel like I'm crazy person it always happen when I'm stressed I guess but I feel like my mind is going crazy and I try to stop my mind from thoughts it's thinking about different things in one minute like idk what's going on Idk how to manage

Whenever I get my in the morning i feel so scared and fearful I cannot even tell. I am suffering from religious and blasphemous thoughts and these things just come in my mind fear of hell and abusive words are killing me inside all such thoughts just come in my mind and now even on tongue but in silent words I am dying but I have no money for the therapy my family just think that try to remain busy you will be okay but I am unable to focus now i cannot tell them as they have notime to listen to me as how they can listen same stuff all the timen these things and my anxiety making things more worse. I need someone to talk who have same issue i am uncle to attend religious gathering see posts on social media and funerals all are the triggers this morning I just miss a religious gathering due to this and my family is not happy due to it I feel cutoff in everything. I am weeping. I am doing this I am sure even now it become worse if someone say bad to me or even no to anything abusive words just came out against them I am unable to control.