I require help

After battling HOCD for more than three years, now I struggle for more than a month with the fear of being bisexual. It all started after reading an article about a women who was not even straight in the first place, but made the narrative of her story look as if she was it and at the end discovered the opposite. The problem was that I grew in my confidence about my sexuality and everything seemed clear again. I was still compelled to do compulsions and one of them was to google the stories of people who recovered from it as this would not only calm me, but it would give me a motivational boost. Her story triggered me and the thought afterwards was even more horrifying. I wanted to suppress it but it spilled out like water put under pressure. The thought was: "Yes, her story is exactly like mine! Yes, it must be! I am bisexual!" I was so weary and the fact that I did not feel so much anxiety made me truly believe that I had an epiphany and that these thoughts were of my own. Everything that I knew about this disorder was washed away in mere seconds. I tried to combat this thought with a compulsion by showing that I know that this is not the case, as everything I felt in the past for the same-sex was false, only something created by anxiety. Suddenly, I had a strange feeling and it left me to believe that I actually enjoyed these attractions, although this was not the case. I was to weary to put high enough resistance Now I spiraled down so deep that I cannot discern reality from these thoughts anymore. Sometimes I even believe that I am in denial. No compulsion seems to help anymore or very little. Sometimes it even feels as if I would abhor heterosexuality and would love bisexuality, although I find no comfort in these thoughts. They disgust me and they are very disturbing. Such thoughts never appealed to me, but now they feel as if I would think them intentionally. What should I do? Everything seems so strange and out of place. I want to be only with the opposite sex, yet the doubts takes forms that make believe this is not truly my wish. It makes me believe that there is "room for more" and it scares me but I am too tired of fighting these thoughts and feelings, yet I still find some energy to combat them. I can barely look in the mirror anymore and hardly I can remember for what I truly fought in the past and who I truly was. The nights are spent restless. My therapy session starts in just a few weeks, but my fear seems so true. It seems so close. I knew I was straight and in this I found great fondness. Now it seems like a distant memory. What should I do in this severe case? Deep inside myself, my rational part still knows that it is OCD. It must be, or else I would not do compulsions as long as the day is. I would not go through this anguish. I am sorry for the lengthy post, but I try to stabilize myself again before I attend my first sessions.