Has my exposure practice turned into a harmful compulsion for my OCD?

I am 68 and have had OCD beginning as a small child. I saw a host of psychiatrists and psychologists who really didn't know what was going on with me. I finally saw one in my late 30's who correctly diagnosed my OCD, but didn't know how to treat it, neither did the psychiatrist she referred me to. It wasn't until I found NOCD that I began to recover. My therapist taught me to stay in the present (what's happening or what am I doing NOW) and to stay in uncertainty, which is a very hard thing to do with some of these awful themes, but effective. If you're not already doing so, please consider contacting NOCD for a consultation. You really would benefit from sessions with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy. It could change your life. Hope this helps.

You're not alone, that's for sure. There are a lot of us here who are over 40 and struggling. In the support groups, there are people in their 60s and up. I love that because it's *never* too late to get well. It's definitely possible that your exposure has become compulsive. My bigger concern in what you've shared here is that you're responding or following up the triggering statement with a prayer to keep everyone safe - that is a compulsion/safety behaviour which will reinforce the OCD. Also, responding to the exposure by saying that you wouldn't want that to happen. My (non-expert) suffegtion would be to try to change it up a bit. For exposure, you could bring up things by saying "[this thing] could happen to the people I love" and then not responding to it. Or you could respond with something like "they may or may not be safe, I can handle not knowing". When OCD says "what if you hurt people by thinking about these things or saying your exposures", you can respond with things like "maybe, but maybe not", "whatever OCD, anything is possible", "that would be terrible, but nothing I say will make it happen or not happen". Just a few things to try out. But the idea is to not undo, neutralize, pray, engage with the intrusive thoughts, etc. Non-engagement responses will begin to feel more natural after some practice.

Great advice above! You are not alone, I’ve been dealing with OCD for years😀. Something that helped me, anything you do to relieve the distress is a compulsion. So if you have the thought you could harm a loved one, you allow the distress that follows, you don’t say “I would never do that” that’s reassurance which is a compulsion. Prayer can also be reassurance if done to relieve distress. It’s not surprising that the OCD is flaring because that’s what OCD does when we do compulsions. You are on the right track. Allow the thoughts, allow the discomfort and distress. It helps me to do things I value when I’m allowing the distress. If I’m feeling a ton of distress I will get outside, call a friend (and not talk about distressed). Reach out anytime, there are lots of us on here❤️

Thank you so much for all your tips ..and advice with everything I was concerned about I am also 68 snd have also had OCD since I was a child ...having had every type...throughout the many years of suffering...your replies helped me make the decision to do what my GP wanted to do and see someone from the mental health team ...so thank you all again x