How can you differ that you have ROCD or your actually losing feelings. I have like every symptom of ROCD but I feel like maybe my OCD is bullshit and I’m not meant to be with that person. Or is that something someone with ROCD would say…? ^^^
definitely is something someone with rocd would say! i’m going through the same thing as you and its all so confusing
Sometimes I feel this way too and its so hard to tell the difference :(atp I cant tell either and its actually frustrating
The ‘lost feelings’ part really hit home for me. This was my first key obsession I think. I was 25ish, madly into my gf at the time, then overnight I had the thought “you feel nothing” and “you lost feelings for her”. Because I didn’t know what ocd was at that stage, enter 3 months of ‘figuring it out’ and replaying past experiences, and googling and complete loss of libido, so on and so forth. Unfortunately the obsessiveness of figuring it out led me to the thought - “you must be gay” “are you gay?” Today I’m 36, and right in the midst of treating SOOCD. The worse part about the ‘feelings’ and lack there of is the believing it’s real and true. I’m still working on treatment but it’s hard.
I totally get where your coming from. I struggle with ROCD as well but I usually know when it’s just my ROCD and not that I’m losing actual feelings. Maybe communicate to the person your feelings and see how they make you feel and if it makes you feel really good.
@drea.a It’s hard to tell myself it’s my ROCD when I communicate with my partner he understands and he isn’t worried about me losing feelings, the reassurance helps.. but sometimes the “what if” plays in my head and sometimes it turns into me worrying about his feelings instead of mine. I love my partner and I’m happy but the doubt replays in my head. How do u deal with it?
@haileyd04 I understand that. What I like to do is tell myself that this person is with me for a reason that they want me for a reason. My doubts kick in as well but just think to yourself “are there any negative reasons why this person doesn’t feel the same?” I do this and it helps because there are way more positive things that I see rather then negative ones. I am not sure how long you have been with your partner but if they have been with you long enough there isn’t anything that they don’t know about you and they understand u. I let myself focus on the present and not on the “what if’s” that I’m living in the present with this person and and not some conclusions I made up myself. I hope I could help.
@drea.a Thank you I appreciate the chat ❤️
for me, it's because it will go away for a short period of time. I will have a light bulb moment and be like "omg I truly don't feel that way!" and I'll feel very happy and comfortable, but then I start overthinking again and it comes back
@izzzaey Yes OCD does that especially because something triggers it to come back and once you get the reassurance and the moment of “okay I’m fine I’m happy I feel dumb for freaking out” something triggers it again..then you act on it with compulsions/doubts filling your brain. It’s hard to manage and deal with
@haileyd04 exactlyyy! my therapist told me to really focus deep into your heart and find what makes you feel best. ill close my eyes when I feel triggered and imagine a future with my boyfriend. of course, all the bad thoughts come in as well, but just seeing a little glimmer of hope helps me. maybe it's a compulsion, I really don't know.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.
So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?
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