OCD's impact on relationships and feelings of guilt after a breakup.

Saddness

I feel like OCD ruins so much. My boyfriend broke up with me because of it. It got to a point where I made him do compulsions (ex: open and close the door a certain amount of times). I have OCD in combination with PTSD so I would get triggers often. He got to a point where he got up and left me while I was at work and cut contact completely. I don’t know how to feel and I feel like a failure. It’s been two months and my OCD has been nonstop telling me I was an abuser or narcissistic and that’s why he left. Everyone tells me I’m a broken record… but they don’t know that this is torture for me, too. I wish I could start over with my ex, but I can’t, and that bothers my OCD, too. Lack of control. I also seem to have memory issues in that relationship, I can’t remember what happened or not, and I’m not sure if that’s part of my OCD.

Username: VGHVGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so sorry you're struggling. This sounds so familiar to my situation. What I learned, over time and with therapy, is that the very things I was doing to make myself feel better, to relieve my anxiety and distress, were, in fact, the very things keeping my anxiety and distress going strong. I, too, was a broken record and people didn't understand and lost patience with me. Therapy (through NOCD) helped me see how my behaviors (although I thought necessary and impossible to stop) were exacerbating the situation. Learning to cut out the compulsions is key. I will be forever grateful to the NOCD platform for leading me to effective therapy with a skilled OCD therapist. I encourage you to reach out, I suffered with OCD for 35+ years and I am living my life fully now. It is worth the hard work. Wishing you all the best!

Username: SophiaCalypsoSophiaCalypso

Date posted: 1y ago

@VGH Thank you so much! For a while I didn’t want to get help because my mind was like “it’s too late, it won’t bring him back into my life”, or “I should have done this while he was in my life,” but I realized that if I didn’t get help then I’d keep living in this loop.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so sorry to hear that you had this experience. OCD can be so debilitating and taxing on ourselves. I hope that you know that there is so much hope though. Sometimes just knowing you are not alone can be the first step to recovering. Please know that there have been many people who have experienced similar things to what you are who have gone on to get treatment and to live life to the fullest, in spite of their condition. You can get to a place where your life doesn’t feel consumed by these intrusive thoughts and feelings. There is so much hope. ERP has changed my life and so many others. Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler Also check this out, https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/can-erp-improve-symptoms-of-depression I hope that you realize that you didn't choose to have a debilitating condition, it is not your fault, you can choose what to do with it💛

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

Me too but I can't afford for help..nor do I think I can talk with my loved onee

Username: yukariyukari

Date posted: 1y ago

Can we talk if possible individually?

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

That sucks so much. It’s not too late to get help. You deserve to feel better. Delaying or not doing the compulsions will help them to lose their power over you.

Username: natpon25

Date posted: 4y ago

I can’t stop crying. My partner has been very distant. He just admitted he has pulled back because of how bad my ocd has gotten. I found out he was seeing his ex behind my back and has been lying to me to push me away because he can’t handle how bad it has gotten. I feel really sad. And I’m at a really low place. I feel like no one will love me because of the ocd. The one person I trusted and was vulnerable with just told me that my health condition is making him takes steps back from me. I’m extremely codependent on him because of the ocd. I feel so scared to be alone and battle this alone.

Username: dreamerxo

Date posted: 2y ago

support

i really need some help rn. an argument with my boyfriend has really triggered my intrusive thoughts about how i’m not good enough and how OCD has taken everything from me and i have no purpose. to put things in short, my boyfriend and i went out with another couple who we are friends with and i had a good time. i had banter with my bf and said a comment about how he has memory of a goldfish which i didn’t realise he didn’t like at the time. on the way home he was super silent which put me on edge because i know it’s when he has an issue with me. then around the corner from my house he told me i didn’t talk to him with respect in front of people. and i genuinely didn’t understand why he felt like this. but i was annoyed because i asked him multiple times what the matter was and he said nothing each time. and then an argument started and he said some really hurtful things. such as i’m a nobody, i’m nothing special, i think i’m above people, how i’m a piece of sh*t, called me ugly too and how he can’t do this relationship anymore and he’ll get with someone else. this triggered me so much and i burst out crying and screaming bc i’m so sick of hearing these comments made towards me especially over something so minor. he made me feel like i was being aggressive for reacting the way i did and by screaming but my head was just not in the right place. my ocd and intrusive thoughrs are all over the place. i keep thinking i’m not good enough, if i was different he wouldn’t be like this. i’m so upset and sad. i try and be good enough. my ocd has taken so much from me. i dropped out of uni because of it and with his comments i feel even more worthless. i feel so lost.

Relationship OCD

Username: LiLiotl

Date posted: 1y ago

Why am I like this

I love him so much and I'll never have him again and it's all my fault. My ocd got so bad after he left me and it's all my fault.. I was stupid and cheated on him for some reason and he found out and broke up with me. This was almost 5 years ago now and I'm still in love with him, but he has completely moved on and wants nothing to do with me. But then he says things that confuse me and i always feel like its not over between us even though hes said mutiple times that he doesnt love me anymore and doesnt want to be eith me I've tried dating other people but I just can't do it. I love him so much it hurts why did I have to be so stupid why why why why whyyy I hate myself so much

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OCD's impact on relationships and feelings of guilt after a breakup.

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