Does anyone have hard time with sexuality and sexual things? I am worried to be sexual, that God is watching. I stopped everything remotely sexual. If it ever comes to the point where I will kiss someone again I will be so scared because God is watching me. And it will be uncomfortable because I won’t be enjoying the moment I will be thinking about my thoughts. I used to be totally fine and then all this came along and I feel like I can’t even be normal human. I have sexual dreams and I feel fine and aroused in them. Then I wake up and I’m like omg God doesn’t want me to think these things. I can’t even explain it all.. I wish I could all stop this and go back to normal me :’(

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

This is gonna sound really weird and this is a disturbing post for me to make I’m 20, waiting till marriage. I’m a Christian but I have very bad sexual intrusive thoughts. this sounds so weird but I was thinking about the Holy Spirit like the Holy Spirit is love, peace, patience, joy, and stuff like that. My mind said that I wanted to have sex with an orange I know that’s a very weird thought but for some reason, I thought that would be cool but I know that’s very weird but in my mind, my brain said that orange is the fruit of the spirit and my brain said that I was thinking sexually about the Holy Spirit, but I don’t wanna have sex with the holy Spirit. That’s terrible I hate the thought. I don’t wanna have sex with the fruit of the spirit that’s terrible and I hate that thought now I’m scared what if I really wanted to do that to the Holy Spirit or to the fruit of the spirit? I just need some advice and I’m really freaking out anything you guys say would really help I am a Christian so please don’t go against my religious values and beliefs.