So i keep spam posting lol but this will hopefully be my last. I see people on TikTok who say they had hocd about being gay, and then saying that theyre bi???? Thats really scaring me? How could they have hocd and be what they fear? I hate this and really dont want that to happen. I want to accept this uncertainty but cant at all. No offence to anyone from LGBTQ+.
People who are bi and have soocd fear they're either straight or gay. Ultimately, you label yourself however you want. If you don’t feel comfortable with bisexual, then don't claim it. Ocd tries to impose things but you're the one in charge.
@Lavender. Thanks for your comment. Yeah, i know that gay/bi people with soocd most likely are scared of being straight, or for bi people, completely gay. But i mean, ive heard of people who thought they were straight and were scared of liking the same gender, then saying they became bi or something. Pehaps i am misreading those as, to me, it doesn’t genuinely make sense. It all just really scares me. Again, thanks for your comment x
@AyseTetik Yes I get it. These stories sometimes really get to me too. You just have to keep in mind that their experience is not yours. Trying to figure them out and overthinking is keeping you trapped in this cycle.
@Lavender. I appreciate this so much. Youre right, their experience is different and i dont know all the details to their life and so on. I suppose what caused that fear is that i fear that therapy will make me come to terms with something that doesn’t exist or that does not align with who i am. I know thats a common misconception and that i should just trust the process, but the fear is very real and im not sure how to deal with it. Thank you so much x
Do yourself a favor and stay away from TikTok for a while. It can be very triggering and I would imagine 99% of the posts have no idea how OCD really works. It is a very misunderstood disorder and social media only fuels the misinformation.
@Luke33:) I agree with you. Thank you so much i hope the best for you ❤️
You can share more here if you'd like. I'm here for you, I'm sure everyone here would say the same.
@Mike in PA Thank you so much. I know that accepting anything is important. But truthfully, i dont want to end up “bi or lesbian”. Thats not me. But ive heard of a few people say that they realised they were bi or whatever while dealing with hocd and its tearing me apart.
@AyseTetik This really gives me anxiety too
@AyseTetik I've been learning and experiencing how OCD causes us to lose our values, who we are. Sounds to me like you know your values and recognize it is the OCD causing distortions in your thoughts. And I too struggle with hocd as part of my "mess" lol. Are you in therapy at all?
@Mike in PA Im not in therapy right now but i do want to get into it. Just not sure how to explain this to my mum.
@AyseTetik That can be a challenge. I'm hoping and praying she'll support you. People close to me were a challenge because to them it was just an excuse so it takes time sometimes.
TikTok is full of bullshit. I suggest you to delete it. It's not healthy for the brain.
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩
i’m scared i’m bi and in denial and trying to convince myself im straight.
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