i give up. im tired of ocd taking over my life. i tried to cut myself twice today but something stopped me. i tend to fall asleep to avoid my thoughts but then i wake up being anxious, my heart rate wud always be 120+ and its like having a panic attack. i was feeling fine but suddenly im back to square one and its nearly death experience. its better to die than living with this tragic disorder.
I had a similar feeling and it’s what made me want to start this therapy and I’m happy I’m okay and I’m happy you are okay right now too
i cant afford therapy cause of asian parents
@anonymouss444 Do you live in USA or in Asia? I have latino parents, but they’ll help me at the end bc they can tell I’m pretty bad situation
It can feel hard but you aren’t alone
You are not alone. I felt like that too sometimes before i started therapy.
Have you tried watching tv shows you feel comfortable with? Or listen to your favorite music? Try and hang out, if you don't have someone close to hang out with, just do it by yourself. Look at the sky and try to figure it out the shapes of the clouds, collect flowers, play with your animals, go eat your favorite dish!! Think about the future, your dreams.. You'll feel better after that. Remember that you're the only one who can heal yourself.
i do think about future but ocd questions it too. wud i be able to make it?
@anonymouss444 of course you're going to make it. one day you're going to look back and be grateful you didn't die by some fucked up disorder.
When I was younger I felt the same exact way. Didn’t wanna live like that. Now I’m in a good place. I have a life I never would have imagined. There is hope. Just find a way to get to an OCD specialist so you can do the important work to heal.
please don’t give up.
Please keep pushing🙏🏼
It’s normal to feel this way. It’s a really difficult mental illness especially without an OCD therapist. The goal with your thoughts is to not fight them or feed them. ERP is how we work through our distressing relations to our thoughts so they can pass through.
I can relate to that. My Asian parents won't allow me for the therapy too. You're not alone ik it's hard to tolerate OCD but we will get through it
I hear you and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m proud of you for posting and asking for help, I know that’s very hard. My OCD was so bad as a teenager and I also lived with unsupportive parents and no real resources like therapy to help. I started therapy as soon as I became an adult and it has helped me reduce my anxiety and feel more powerful than my disorder. My parents never took me seriously and refused to understand how I felt, but I promise there’s so many of us with this disorder that know how you feel ❤️
Ive had 3 good anxiety/OCD days in a row and now im really struggling. I am so tired of struggling and trying to battle my intrusive thoughts. I honestly just want to die. I feel like its easier than living with this. I remember my life before OCD. I remember being normal and i would give anything to be like that again, but i am so discouraged.
Ive gotten over some bad ocd episodes that have lasted months and months and i was so so happy when i realized it was achievable to overcome such an illness,but this time around it feels different i thought i had gone through everything but no theres always more,theres always the next intrusive thought,my intrusive thought this time that got me back in the dark ocd hole was,”what if i just stopped thinking”,it sounds so stupid and i didnt pay it much mind at first but then it popped back into my head and it told me “but what if everytime im about to think about something,i realize it and stop thinking about what i was thinking about.”this has made me feel so alienated in life,life feels grey and dull ive never had a thought stick around for so long its been 3 months and i havent heard anyone have anything similar too this i wake up every day scared of whag else my mind can bring to me to torment me and its so depressing in here.i cry a lot now thinking about the old me i used to be when i was happy and ocd free but I genuinely dont think i can live like this for long.Sorry for writing a whole essay but its the only way i could express what im feeling right now plz say something below.
It feels like OCD has taken everything good out of my life. I only feel free from anxiety, guilt, fear and lack of control when I'm sleeping and I'm lucky that my intrusive thoughts don't affect my night's sleep either. My therapist has already warned me about the dangers of not doing anything that is good for me as this can result in severe depression, but I feel so guilty about my thoughts and then carrying out a compulsion, that sometimes I don't even feel like eating, I feel truly sick to my stomach. I have suffered from undiagnosed OCD for as long as I can remember, I finally had a diagnosis at the beginning of this year and it was a relief at first, to have an answer as to why my whole life was the way it was, but now I continue the treatment and I don't know if one day I will be able to improve. I know that OCD has no cure and it hurts to think that I will have to live every day of my life fighting my own brain. Anyway, this has gone on too long, this app is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and my disorder, I hope this all passes soon, I'm tired.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
