I will be having my 5th session and feel as though I am behind. I misunderstood the 4th session which was ERP and wonder if anyone has had this happen. What are recommendations?
Yes, it takes a couple sessions for it to make sense. Ask as many questions as you need to, it's your time
@Mike in PA The therapist also got my fear and response list a little messed up and we did something that made no sense. Then she realized that she did not understand fully what I meant. For the last few days I have been feeling down and is this all life is? What are the joys? I feel I have nothing in life to look forward to.
@Sheri23 That is definitely OCD talking. It's ok that the first sessions were a little sloppy. Give it time. I know the feeling about loss of joy, I'm struggling with that too at the moment.
@Sheri23 I just finished an ERP session. It's not always easy, but it is helpful.
@Sheri23 I'd be happy to be here for you, if you'd like. This is a cruel condition, please don't feel like you're alone.
@Sheri23 And there is hope. Life is beautiful, you deserve more and can overcome this. They say it may never fully go away, but you can be stronger than your OCD.
@Sheri23 May I ask what didn't make sense on your fear and response list?
@Mike in PA I fear death and dying. Harm OCD and now this Existential OCD. She thought I feared I was going to harm someone and cause their death.
@Sheri23 Hopefully your counselor will be more receptive to what you're going through. Give her a chance, she's only human too. :-)
I'm on Lexapro. I think it stopped working earlier this year, I ended up having a major crisis with a coworker and lost my job because of it. I had no idea what was going on. Doubled my dose since. Back in 2018 I was hospitalized twice for self harm. Laid there ruminating for days almost unresponsive. They didn't even mention anything about OCD! I recovered and was ok until earlier this year.
@Mike in PA Sorry to hear. I basically was so overwhelmed and depressed and obsessed about everything to cause me hospitalization. The anxiety was HUGE. Sounds like you are “getting there”. Good for you!
@Sheri23 The loss of job situation eased up with ERP, but it's opening up more, deeper issues that really suck. I feel numb half the time.
@Sheri23 Do you have loved ones nearby to support you?
Im 43 and in the same boat as you all who are mid life and had it since i was a kid and never got diagnosed even though i was sent to people. I am not a big fan of antidepressants or antipsychotics for treatment of ocd. I think they make things worse. So many side effects.
@jhbishop80@gmail.com I'm not big on meds either. 5 years ago they loaded me up and I've been able to get off everything except a low dose of Lexapro because I'm addicted to it now.
@Mike in PA - One the problems is insurance doesnt cover therapy from psychologists. If they do its minimal and you have to submit the claim. Hassle. Hell, even most psychiatrists dont accept insurance. Thats my experience. And physcians arent educated in cognitive-behavioral therapy and all that stuff. They dont have time for it. They have to focus solely on medicine, understandably. I wish these ssris had no side effects. Then i would take them all day long.
@Mike in PA Yes, they do.
@Mike in PA - I went off 40 mg of paxil cold turkey several years ago and eventually ocd hit me like a ton of bricks. First time in my life i decided to google ocd and went to a therapist. Didnt have a clue what he was talking about when he brought up erp. But i do now. Right now i am antidepressant free and not doing too bad. We'll see how it unfolds.
@Sheri23 That's good. :-)
I have had this since birth. Got official diagnosis in 1990 and started with therapy and meds then. I am in my mid fifties. I just HATE HATE this.
So it's been a long journey. :-( I'm 53 and just learned I have OCD which is crazy because my whole life has been an OCD mess. Lol. Sorry, not funny. :-) I hate it too.
@Mike in PA I understand. What meds are you on? I was hospitalized once for 10 days in June then in July for 6. I was on Lexapro for many years and it basically stopped working. Now I am on Zoloft which is still an SSRI and I don’t know how good it is helping. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow.
Thankfully I was only out of work for 2 weeks. But 2 months after I was lying awake every night between 12-4 ruminating and actually planning revenge
So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?
I've been in and out of talk therapy for OCD-related issues for years, but it hasn't been effective long-term. I am struggling with body image / eating disorder adjacent obsessions and I am really hopeful that ERP might actually give me some relief. I had my first session with my NOCD therapist a few weeks ago. It felt like a good match and I was ready to unpack my obsessions and compulsions to try ERP for the first time. The day of my second session she canceled due to personal illness. Then this happened a second time. Yesterday all of my future booked sessions were canceled without explanation. I went to schedule with a new therapist and the ones that seemed could be a good fit are filled up until at least early April. I booked a slot and sent the therapist a message letting her know I would be interested in starting sooner if a slot opened up. I am just disappointed. I could just meet with another therapist who has earlier availability, but it's most important to me that the therapist be a good fit since I've been through therapy so many times. I feel like I'm in limbo until I have an ERP plan set up and I'm not sure how to move forward in the meantime. I'm planning try out a support group but I need a personalized exposure plan and I'm not sure if that's something I should just try to set up myself? Anyone have something similar happen to them? Any thoughts or advice would be helpful.
A few hours ago I had my first ERP session and I am currently feeling nauseous and nervous at the same time. Right after my first exposure I wanted to quit right then and there, but I know I cannot. Does anyone have any tips for sitting with this level of discomfort? Anything is appreciated. Thanks! :-)
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