Advice pls!

@Phi up 1123 Can you please explain?

@Caeles Yes I have let him know, and when he asked me to be his girlfriend i was honest that I was still friends with my ex (more like a friend) since we only dated for a month and don’t count that as much of a relationship

@Anon112 It sounds like you've been honest from the start. It seems like the fear may be latching onto this particular event because you care deeply about your partner and something that could change that is scary to deal with. OCD latches onto the things we care about, and in the end it's not the topic of the thoughts that matter or that are distressing, but the way they make you feel and the doubt they bring. Seeking reassurance or going over the events repeatedly won't make this anxiety go away, regardless of what good or bad answers you may get - with OCD, no answer is good enough. If youve ever struggled with any other subtypes OCD can latch onto, or have done work with therapists or on this app to help work through OCD, treat these sorts of anxieties the same way you'd treat those, and over time it will alleviate. I find it's super hard to do this with real event OCD because the fear feels a bit more, well, real, but it's the same as any other subtype and can be met with similar steps

@Caeles Do you also struggle with real life ocd? While I ruminate on this particular event, I’m not sure if false memory details have also occured and meshed in and now I’m even more confused because some details are confusing and making me feel more doubtful and idk if it’s my brain creating false details of the event :(

@Anon112 Yeah, real event OCD is probably my worst one as it's the only topic of all the ones I've done ERP for that's still remaining. It's getting better though, I've had more good days than bad now. I still want reassurance sometimes, and even though every person I ever sought it from has given me good answers, OCD still wants more. It adds false information and new emotions and things to make it harder to let it all go. One thing that helped me was realizing OCD is sort of a messed up way of the brain trying to protect you. It can't handle uncertainty and so seeks out everything it can to confirm things, but it's never enough. I've seen scripts where you thank your brain for trying to protect you and move on with your day, and that helped me at the start. Most of what I struggle with now is cutting off rumination, but I'm a lot less anxious and overwhelmed now than I have been. Starting with things like scripts, saying "maybe, maybe not" to thoughts and fears, or even just repeating the thought in a funny voice to disconnect and distance yourself from it somewhat can help lessen the effect the thoughts have. It's gonna take some time, but it's possible. You might not feel 100% right away, but if each time you work through resisting compulsions adds 1% to your progress, you improve every day and are always better than the time before