Whats wrong with me?

I have a tendency to tell someone about something that happened, but for some reason add in something that wasn’t true and for no reason. I don’t know why I do it and I’m obsessing like crazy over it to where I feel like a bad person or like people wont like me anymore. The guilt & shame are eating me alive. I absolutely hate it. For ex: maybe I was at the mall with my daughter and I started to feel a panic attack coming on so I decided I wanted to leave. So my daughter and I walked out of the mall and left. What happens is I will tell someone this story but instead of saying we walked out of the mall, I’ll say how carried her out of the mall when I actually didn’t. Or I’ll say how someone approached me to talk about something when I approached them. I also dramatize my feelings sometimes too. Does anyone else do this sort of thing? Am I just totally broken? I have beat myself up severely for a week now, because I do this sort of thing. It makes me feel weird and like a fraud. Ive just been sick about it.

SeaDu

Date posted: 2y

I think everyone adds some flare to their story telling. But also it sounds like your OCD is making you feel like a bad person. Don’t cave in.

Scared1

Date posted: 2y

@SeaDu Thank you so much for replying. My ocd tells me I broken. It tells me I manipulate people and am a fraud. I do know for sure that I tell an otherwise truthful story, but for some reason add my own little bit as to maybe I would have liked for it to have gone. I don’t tell full on fake stories. Its just little parts. I feel so shameful, embarrassed and like no one would trust me anymore.

TheBigC

Date posted: 2y

I think we all add in or take away bits of stories, or say it in different ways, if it helps the flow of telling the story or to emphasise the point. If you feel uncomfortable about doing this, it shows you care about doing things right in life. If you're not comfortable with telling small little white lies then don't do it anymore. Its really important you know that as human beings our characters do plenty of good things, but we all have time when we don't do things right. Especially if you have anxiety, the front part of the brain responsible for logical thinking turns off, so perhaps when you're sharing the story a part slips out without thinking and you go with it. 1) You need to be comfortable knowing that the average normal human being makes mistakes. Its totally within our characters to not do things right sometimes. But recognising it and improving is a good things. Understand the dynamic you get into which leads you to add parts into stories. Who are you telling these stories to? Is it someone who makes you feel a certain way and you need to change up the story for them? We sometimes change our behaviours based on other people. 2) The key thing for you is to recognise how you get into these spots and see it before it happens again, and try to stop yourself

Scared1

Date posted: 2y

@TheBigC Thank you so much for your kind reply. This made me feel a little better.

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 2y

I do this, too. Or I revise slightly to include something I wish I'd said or done. I'm not super proud of that and I'm not sure if it's something related to OCD, or just wanting people to find me interesting.

Scared1

Date posted: 2y

@ReadyForImprovement Thanks for sharing.

Lillo2000

Date posted: 22w

Confession compulsion

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

Dev12_

Date posted: 12w

Compulsively over sharing

It use to be so much worse but I notice I over share so bad, some examples are like whenever I’m in the store and I buy some random things and I’m checking out I always try to sneak in a reason for the stuff I’m buying so the cashier doesn’t think I’m weird even tho it’s probably regular stuff. Or if I think I said something wrong to someone I try to find a way to add in something to say to ensure they heard me correct. Most times this has worked other times it’s just me overthinking it. It’s so silly but annoying sometimes. I always over share things in case someone thinks I’m weird or something. Sometimes I even do it on here, if I think my post is confusing or someone could take it out of context, I’ll say something in the comments in case someone thinks I’m strange. It’s hard to kinda just let people think whatever, but my ocd seems to obsess a lot over what others are thinking. It sucks. I always have to know what they’re thinking and if I can’t I’ll try to get them to not think that way but I can’t help what anyone’s thinking about me.

Kiki4623!

Date posted: 10w

Help

I keep remembering ways I have behaved based on my intrusive thoughts. Like I always had patterns of attention seeking even though I don’t want those people and love my fiancé more than anything in this world. And every single thing I remember, I feel like I have to explain it to him or else it means I am a liar and don’t deserve to move on from the feelings of shame and anxiety. He doesn’t want me to tell him about it all but I feel like I have to 😞

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Whats wrong with me?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community