can anyone help/ ROCD

I have recently started a new job and i have a male colleague. I am so convinced i have a new “crush” on him but i have a boyfriend. I find myself sometimes looking for him and my heart will drop if i was to see him. I’m hoping this anxiety is because i don’t want to have a crush on him. I don’t know if this is my rocd or not. Is it possible for my ocd to convince me i like him and that results in me wanting to be near him even though i love my boyfriend so much. I don’t think i can carry this guilt anymore and i have been considering breaking up with him as i feel like such an awful person. I don’t know what to do i feel so upset

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

If you suffer from Rocd this would be a typical scenario. You might have a crush on him, you might not. You are trying to figure this out right now. It's a compulsion. You have to accept that there is also the possibility of having a crush. Thoughts are not actions. Your guilt comes from your core beliefs. You might have the strict rule in your mind "I can never like someone else/be attracted to someone else. If so, that must mean I'm a cheater/guilty". BUT life is not black and white. People are not either good or bad. Part of recovery is to question those beliefs, whether they are useful. Unconditional self acceptance would mean that you accept yourself (and your feelings) no matter what. There are a lot of good videos on cheating OCD on the OCD Recovery channel on YouTube :)

anonymous1345

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch Thank you so much. I really don’t want to even think of anyone else in this way tho and i feel so guilty. I don’t think i can accept myself if am this type of person

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

@anonymous1345 Then that's your task to work on. By telling yourself that you shouldn't think of anyone else it's only natural that you will. By accepting that this is an intrusive thought, which happens to anyone, and not doing compulsions you will be able to overcome this. I can speak from my own experience as I had horrible cheating OCD in two relationships. Nowadays I make fun of my OCD, I exaggerate what it says. When it tells me "hey, dangerous territory. What if I find him attractive. Does that mean I'm a cheater?" I answer "Hell yes, that's a sexy human being. I wonder how it would be like having an affair". Sounds ridiculous at first but it's my way of doing erp. You will see that it's all in your mind and at some point you don't even feel any anxiety towards those thoughts anymore. It takes practice and self acceptance

anonymous1345

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch That’s really helpful thank you. I will definitely practice that and hope it helps. I don’t feel major anxiety over these thoughts so i am scared these thoughts are real.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y

@anonymous1345 The doubting disease OCD makes us doubt everything. Doubting whether or not sth is real and checking feelings is part of it. Don't check or ruminate on the intensity of anxiety :)

anonymous1345

Date posted: 2y

@ROCDmensch Okay, thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it:)

sofiarenee

Date posted: 2y

i feel you heavy on this. theres this coworker i have who i find pretty attractive, being around him spikes my anxiety though because i’m scared that i have a crush on him even though i’m with my boyfriend whom i love very much. its really hard for me to accept that “thoughts aren’t actions” because i feel bad for having the thought in the first place.

cmax20

Date posted: 22w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 19w

Intrusive thoughts about others

I am in a relationship but I cannot stop getting thoughts about this new coworker I met, my mind convinces me they are so attractive and so great and I hate it so much. My current relationship has its imperfections (as every one does) but I am so happy with her and have always been so loyal. Would OCD target those imperfections and exploit this situation? Additionally I believe I’m feeling ROCD fears of cheating but I know in every opportunity I’ve talked with other women I am loyal to my partner by bringing her up. Does anyone experience the same thing? Is this really OCD or other subconscious intrusive thinking?

Whatabtme

Date posted: 18w

Rocd triggered, ran into guy I have history with

Ocd sucks. I’m at a stay away multiple days long event for school rn and ran into someone I used to talk with. We had a will they won’t they kind of thing for years and knew each other all growing up. I knew when we were really young that he had a crush on me for a while. And then when we got older there were times I had a crush on him but I don’t think he liked me anymore at that point. I never fully knew where he stood because he often was in a relationship or living somewhere else. Because we never dated or kissed or anything, only hung out on ambiguous date-like occasions, there has always been that what if sitting there for me and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since before I met my current partner years ago. Well they happen to be at this place I’m staying at, where we are in the same places everyday, and I ran into them, said hi and caught up for a bit. It has totally triggered my ROCD in a way I’ve never experienced. I feel guilt and shame and keep having intrusive thoughts that are so extreme and catastrophic like what if I leave my partner of 8 years for him, what if I find him more attractive than my partner, what if I cross a line while I’m interacting with him this week, what if I’m a terrible girlfriend to my partner and a fraud??

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can anyone help/ ROCD

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