- Date posted
- 1y
I’m done
How am I meant to tell what’s false memory & what’s real when intoxicated I feel so guilty about a night 10 months ago. I need help
How am I meant to tell what’s false memory & what’s real when intoxicated I feel so guilty about a night 10 months ago. I need help
You can't. You'll never know with 100% security. You really can't find certain proofs that you either did or didn't. That's uncertainty, and i know it's really hard for us with ocd to accept it, but the best thing you can do now is to sit with the discomfort, instead doing compulsions and keep trying to determine what the REAL TRUTH is...
@Saraa It’s really hard I want a definitive answer, so I can relax and move on but without it it’s killing me
@Anonymous It would be awesome if we all can find definitive answers... bit they do not exists for this :/ We can definitely say if an object exists, but this are feelings, and we can't proove them... i know how bad you need to know, and how bad it makes you feel. I have rocd, and every time i feel anxious i start to wonder if i love my bf enough. I woul LOVE to have a secure answer. But it doesn't phisically exist. No one can mesure love, neither someone can enter in your mind and determine if it's real or not. We can't know, and that's what causing us discomfort.... we either can accept the discomfort or doing compulsions trying to answer it, without being able to know.
@Saraa Firstly, hope your relationship is going well, u deserve it. I’m scared the reason I can’t accept it within myself as it would put me in prison, nothings came of it though, I’m scared to think what I’ve done, I can’t get out of bed and lived in hell for the last 10 months.
Saraa’s right. You’ll never know 100%. There are some lyrics that really resonate with me when it comes to seeking assurance. “If you fight, it’s automatically a fight.” Basically, if you seek reassurance about something, nothing you do is ever going to be enough. The real way out is through. Accepting that you’ll never know. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
@WeCanDoIt! Yes I like them lyrics, thankyou for the comment, I do however think his can I accept something if it could put me into prison, hope your OCD is getting better too🙌
Instead of seeking reassurance and making your OCD worse in the long run, here are resources and tools to help you instead: -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/
Well accept watever it is you are uncertain about; ask for forgivenes and forgive yourself.
@RMO2023 How can I accept anything when I don’t know what’s true or not and it woud put me into prison, I’ve hated my life the last 10 months
Sorry for the typos, i'm jot English, i hope you understand anyway
Yeah.. so that is the thing right there. You jeed to decide by faith what you believe to be true.
@RMO2023 Sorry might sound really dull, but could you explain that comment I don’t understand sorry to be a pain
For example, when everything around me and in me seems uncertain, the Word of God is an anchor for my soul. I believe His word is true; whether I understand it or not. I believe by faith (certainty of what I hope for and assurance of things not yet seen) I can be certain that His promises are true and are for me; that HE IS what it says; and so I am able to go on, because I have hope. So, you need to decide where is your hope and what you believe to be true (about yourself and the world around you) regardless of your feelings and your thoughts. You are not your feelings. They are like waves that come ang go.
I also myst add, that as I wait or continue to live in faith, I have seen the promises of God come true in my life, so that gives me more confidence to continue believing. I have personal experience as proof.
any advice for when you get false memories that feel really real? especially something that had JUST happened, it’s like ur brain distorts it. i feel like i do something wrong 24/7 then i get over it and ocd latched onto something new
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
I have false memory real event ocd, I’ve been married 13 years and I used to constantly bring up past mistakes from when we were dating and it RUINED our marriage, but I got medication and therapy and things got better untill a few weeks ago where everything crumbled. I have a memory that is 13 years ago of me being intimate with my husband (than boyfriend) while being intimate I have a memory of sending a text to a male who obviously liked me but I didi not while my husband was under the covers . And I keep thinking over and over how disgusting and inappropriate it was to do that especially doing it in the middle of being intimate 😞. I have confessed this to my husband last year and he didint believe me saying it’s probably a made up memory and would are not a slut and wouldn’t do that. Now i have guilt all over again for weeks and it’s taking such a toll on me it’s all I think about and try to remember every detail I’ve thought about it so much I don’t even know if it’s 100 percent true. But I can vividly see it when I close my eyes. How do I get over this guilt without confessing? Confessing would absolutely destroy my husband.
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